Picture my surprise when I had tried to lean in for a kiss, and she just smiled and turned her head down. I asked her "why?" and she replied it was nothing I was doing wrong, it's just what it is. No, classy girls don't kiss in bars like this

“Blue eyes, dark hair, braces & Fionn” 08.08.14

This is the second instalment to my Dublin travels diary. I cannot believe I'm posting this, but ergh. I'm going to look back at this and laugh at myself. You might understand the title from the story, but you might not. It doesn't really matter, because this is for me. The names are all changed. Due to a late night and little sleep as a result of travelling, we slept in. Which means our breakfast at Costa Coffee (first picture) was quite late. I had a really nice ham and cheese Panini. The plan for that day was to get a tour at Trinity College (picture number two-four), which we did after our breakfast. We just missed a tour by a few minutes, so we had to wait for a bit. In that time, we went to explore a bit ourselves, which was a really good idea. I think it gave us a basis for the tour. As we walked around the campus by ourselves, I stopped at a building that I thought was stunning. And I was very intrigued by the decoration. I formed questions about it in my head, which I later got answers to during the tour. Once the tour did start, Ale and Marble were basically walking along with the guide, instead of behind the guide like everyone else. I thought that was quite funny, because when the guide was turning around, probably to tell all the people to hurry along, he saw Marble and Ale straight behind him. It was the first time we actually had the chance to listen to someone Irish. I felt like I spent all of Thursday trying to find anyone Irish, or to differentiate the people who were actually Irish from the tourists and foreigners. So it felt really nice to listen to our guide speak with an Irish accent. Naturally I asked him where he was from, and it turned out that he was from south of Dublin, not far from Wicklow. It was a funny coincidence, I thought. I spent almost the whole tour just staring at him, as I had already seen the buildings from our little wander about before the tour. Hey, it was allowed to look at him, because you know it’s rude not to look at the person speaking. Anyway, he was blonde and had blue eyes. He had a sarcastic humor and was self-deprecating. He was the epitome of an Irish person (stereotype). I thought to myself that I could probably fall in love with him, and marry him and carry his children and live on a farm with cows and horses and whatnot. “I’m especially proud, because I’m going to get married in the chapel on the College grounds,” he said, or something akin to that. My dreams of falling in love and marry an Irishman were shattered. After our informative tour, we went to see the Book of Kells and The Old Library. I think the latter was the most amazing part, and I didn’t leave the place without purchasing a little Trinity College tote bag. After going through the museum on campus, Ale split ways with us because she wasn’t feeling too well. She went back to the hotel whilst we went to Jervis Shopping Centre, which was amazing. I went home with one shopping bag, because the mall was closing at 7:00 pm. On the way home, we went over the Ha’Penny Bridge (picture number five), and we also heard a street singer play All I Want by Kodaline. We didn’t actually recognize the song until we had passed him, but we both squealed in excitement, because we’d finally heard Kodaline somewhere. When we got back to the hotel, we found Ale in bed, looking a bit worse for wear. But we managed to get her in the shower, and we all got ready for a nice meal and a night out on Dame Lane. We had dinner at the hotel restaurant, and it was an absolutely delicious lamb meal. It was exquisite, if I can say so, and I want to repeat that sensation of tasting the lamb multiple times. I had a bottle of Peroni, whilst Marble had a glass of wine. The girls opted for some dessert as well, but I was too full to try eating anything. After that, we went upstairs to our hotel room to do some pre-gaming once again—I mean, we are Norwegian students at heart. Marble was the bartender again, and we got some alcohol in our bodies. When we got to Dame Lane, we were a bit unsure where to go in: where the cool things would happen. In the end we went to this pub filled with people to the brim. I didn’t think the pub looked quite great itself, but there were loads of people, so something must have been pulling people towards the pub. The median age was probably around 28 or something. So the crowd was a lot older than us. However, the first thing we did when we got inside was to go to the toilets. It’s where we met two really nice Irish ladies. The toilets were out of paper, so they gave us some of their paper tissues from their hand bags. “So sorry, there’s not any toilet paper left,” they said, remorseful, like it was their fault. We were smitten by the politeness. Then one of them complimented Ale’s skirt. They were just so nice and it was just so unusual to us. After our visit to the toilets, I ordered two pints of Guinness and one pint of Heineken for us. They went down fairly quickly whilst we were listening to the live music. He was taking requests, and mostly playing songs unknown to us, until he started playing Hallelujah. We were all singing along by then. After we had finished our pints, we decided to move on. But at the door, Ale was stopped by a person who she high fived inside of the pub. His name was Aedan. He had long red hair and a matching beard to go along with it. Whilst Ale was caught up in a conversation with him, Marble and I greeted his pal. Deaglan was his name, and he was dark haired, wore a suit, and looked very Irish. Sounded it as well, might I add. Coincidentally, he was also from the Wicklow-area. He was older than us, probably somewhere around the median age of the crowd, if not older. But Ale was in a conversation and we didn’t want to make her leave the conversation. So we started talking with Deaglan; about Ireland’s history and Vikings because we’re Norwegian, accents, Wicklow, etcetera. I accidentally said “telly” when I was explaining my accent. He stopped me, and exclaimed “telly!” and then basically took the mick out of me for using that word. I’ll remember to not use that when I go back to Ireland. The dress I was wearing was one of those “off the shoulder” dresses, but it kept sliding up. So I kept trying to push it down, and Deaglan jokingly said: “wow, already undressing then?”. I explained the reason to him, because I am a proper lady. Two other men came by, and I think we shook hands with them. “See, we’ve already replaced you,” I said to Deaglan. I don’t actually remember a lot of our conversation, but I think we had great banter. I do also remember that I actually gave him my number. Initially I was a bit hesitant, and I did say: “I never do this”, as I was saying my number. When he dialed my number, it didn’t actually call. He said it went straight to voicemail. So he asked if I’d given him a fake number. Please, as if I could lie about my number with how flabbergasted I was. But I showed him that it was in fact correct number. I just didn’t have any service at the moment. Admittedly we were a bit flirty towards each other, and Marble did say she felt a bit like the fifth wheel. When we were about to leave, Deaglan was suddenly very close to my face. Or maybe it just felt like it. No, yeah, he was really close to my face, because he could almost nudge me with his nose. He said: “I really want to kiss you”. And I said: “oh but I never let strangers kiss me. Maybe on the cheek”. He said alright, didn’t kiss my cheek because he said he didn’t want to do something I didn’t want. I thought that was very nice and respectful of him. Believe it or not, I have had people try to kiss me, and I've turned my head. But whereas those people would usually be offended, Deaglan was still all smiles. He still kept very close, and he had his arm around me. We were about to leave, and so I was going to say my goodbyes. I think we might have shook hands, before I decided to give him a hug. Or at least I’m pretty sure I was the one to initiate a hug. Mid-hug, he lifted me up, then let me down, and then lifted me up again. So we were in an embrace for a bit. After saying goodbye to Aedan, whose hair I touched and admitted to wanting to braid—we went back to Temple Bar to check out the atmosphere. Once again we went to listen to the live music, and though it wasn’t as good as the day before, we sat down to listen. There was a hen party, and Marble was just saying how it would be fun to go congratulate the girl. So I said “yeah, why not?”. A few seconds after, I went to congratulate the bride-to-be, and I told her that she looked very nice. The hen-party requested What’s Up by 4 Non Blondes and it was so good, because finally there was a song we could sing along with. After that we ended up at The Globe, where we danced to a lot of good old ones. Then we went downstairs to Ri Ra, where we raved a bit. I Wanna Dance With Somebody by Whitney Houston was playing, and all the gals were strutting around, singing along. I found a dancing companion, who for some reason reminded me of a backpacker. Maybe it was the vibe. Anyway, we danced for a bit, before we decided to go home. On the way back to the hotel we stopped to buy some chips, and then the girls wandered across the road to check out this club they had been eyeing. There we met the guy with braces and J.P. Fionn. It was really nice listening to them chat, because I am a sucker for an Irish accent. Braces’ accent reminded me of Niall Horan, so naturally I had to ask him where he was from. A bit outside Dublin, he said. North, I think. He invited us to come spend the night at theirs. Said he had two couches, which Ale misunderstood for “cages”. We all had the lols at that. I said my goodbyes to them and left, because I was cold and tired. Figured Ale and Marble could do whatever they wanted. I must admit that I was a bit surprised to see them coming up behind me shortly after. I think we ended up in bed at 3:30 am or something, after we had chugged down a few bottles of water in hope that we wouldn't feel any effects of the alcohol the day after.  

made the world I know bigger, changed the way that I viewed it

Hi darlings, I think it's fun to see the development of the colours in my hair, and I must admit that I kind of miss the red/purple-ish colour. Might go back to it one day, but I might do like Sugar has prompted me several times-- go blue. I mean, blue is my favourite colour, so why not yeah? Lols. I felt like a zombie at work today. Because it's turning into autumn, the sun doesn't rise until later, and it gets darker. So naturally, it's really hard to wake up before the sunrise, and you get tired earlier. I was told that a patient had passed away, and it was a bit devastating. As a nurse you're supposed to stay objective, and there's a line between what's professional and unprofessional. But it's not as easy as that, you can't say that something is right, and something is wrong. Some things might be right but also wrong. Bottom line is that I have gotten attached to all of my patients, and I would feel very saddened if (when) they were (are) to pass away. Other than that, I really enjoyed work, which has probably a lot to do with my co-workers and patients today. However, I have been really tired throughout the whole day which has probably a lot to do with my sneaky cold. I think I'm going to sleep really well tonight. I plan to do some school work for the rest of the day probably. If I'm done earlier, that'd be amazing. There's a bar of chocolate and a new fan fiction waiting for me. Tomorrow will be my day off, although I'm going to clean and exercise. But apart from that, I don't have anything I need to do (did I jinx myself then? Probably). Have a great Saturday night. (Lols, I've set myself up to work three Saturdays in a row. Can't wait to have one Saturday for myself) (Oh god, so tired. Tempting to take a sip of the bottle of Whiskey I've got on my desk. But I'm not going to because I think I'm prone to alcoholism. Or that might just be my paranoia). 

You love me, and I love you, and your heart hurts, mine does too. And it's just words and they cut deep but it's our world, it's just us two

Ugh, I can't say I'm feeling really great now. More like I'm failing at everything in life, and I'm not going to go into details, because then I'll have to think about it some more, and I don't think I can handle that. I am so tired after "praksis" whilst trying to read for my exam in December, whilst reading for my "praksis". I'm just exhausted, and due to all of these things, it's just too much. And I'm building up to a cold now that Autumn has been dawning on us. I just feel like on the brink of crying, which I'll probably do today, if not tomorrow. If I have time, that is. Right, I have to take a break. Or else I'm going to break myself, probably. Don't be like me, take care of yourself yeah? This is why I enjoy having a blog, because I reflect on the things I do. And writing this down makes me think of decisions I've made and how they affect my physical and mental health. Self-care is important, and I've let myself down. I've got two nurse supervisors, and thus far I've only been with one of them. Even though it's only been three days, I feel like she can read me scarily well. She knows when to push me, when to not, and can sense whenever I don't feel too good. Even before me, sometimes. Today I had to excuse myself off to the loo, and she told me to do that, and then sit down and have some water. It wasn't until she said so, that I felt how tired I was. Also, the other day I very almost fainted due to me observing doctors cut into a person's hand. I was put down on a bed, where I was ordered to lie until I felt better. And I got up once, because I thought I felt better, but then my supervisor came to see me, and she said: "you still look pale, go lie down again". And yes, she was right, I still felt a bit woozy. She might just be a really great nurse. I am very much enjoying myself at "praksis", though I sometimes feel like I can't do anything. It's not always a confidence booster, but I have to learn to accept the fact that I'm not supposed to know everything, either. I'm there to learn. I thought maybe I'd get a bit of a soft start, but my nurse supervisor has been challenging me from day one, which I do appreciate because I need it. Since she reads me so well, she knows if there's something I'm uncomfortable with, and she'll say that I observe, whilst she does it. I've yet to properly meet my second nurse supervisor, so I'm a bit unsure how that'll be. I've gotten a lot of compliments from the nurses, though, which has made me happy. But I'm so good at shooting compliments like that down. I don't know where I get it from, but it's one of the things I need to work on: accept compliments, don't make excuses. Tomorrow I've got work, which might be the last day at work for awhile, because I don't think it's too good for my health to work along with "praksis" and all the reading. Right now I'm going to finish the chapter I've been reading on this week (well, hopefully). Then I'm going to bed, get some rest. Take care x. 

when you think of love, do you think of pain?

I'm a busy busy bee, trying to be the best I can be. Been reading a lot lately, curriculum rather than fan fictions for once. I enjoy it to an extent, but simultaneously it feels like reading is all I ever do. I've been listening to- and discovering a lot of indie music, much to my glee. My first day at "praksis" was overwhelming, and so different to what I'm used to. I guess I just have to get used to it. I will admit that I think I got a bit of a sensory overload because I am in an emergency-kind of place? I don't know how to describe it, but there's like patients in and out throughout the day, so you get to see a lot of different faces. I wrote down all the things I got to do yesterday, just in fright that I'd not remember anything. Once I got home, I lay down on a chair in the garden to look at the stars whilst listening to (none other than) Re:Stacks by Bon Iver. It was one of the best decisions I've made in a while, because it was very therapeutic, calming to my thoughts and a great way to end my day. It's been another full-on day, and I wish I could say I'm going to bed shortly, but I've still got a few things I need to be done with. Oh well, rest is for (all the smart people who are good at taking care of themselves) losers. 

just a little bit of your heart is all I want

I woke up this morning feeling a bit sad and disorientated due to my strange dream. My dream started in medias res: I was sat on a carpeted floor, which was beige-coloured. And in front of me, in a car seat, was a baby boy. Because the dream started there, I didn't realise it was my baby boy. The dream was basically about my struggle to breastfeed the baby, because I couldn't remember ever giving birth to a baby since the dream started in medias res. So firstly I didn't think it was possible for me to breastfeed, because of the lack of prolactin and oxytocin. But it worked in the end, and I fell in love with the baby. Once I woke up, I remember thinking "where's my baby?". It was a very realistic dream, and now I just really want to hold a baby. I saw a few babies today, when I was at my "praksis". That went very well, by the way. Shook hands with both of my nurse-supervisors, got a guide from the superior nurse, smiled at a few doctors. The latter was a bit awkward, because I was mostly just smiling at people like I'm trying to do nowadays. And then this young and gorgeous doctor walked by, and I was smiling, so he smiled back. And then I actually focused on his face, because although I smile at people, I don't actually look at them. But I did look at this doctor, and then I thought I smiled a bit too much, and it just felt a bit awkward and I started over thinking like Bridget Jones. "Oh my god, he was gorgeous, and I smiled at him like I knew him. He's probably got a wife at home and two small kids with blue eyes like him". Maybe this smiling thing and being polite thing has caused me more trouble than not? When I got on the bus after "praksis", the bus driver said "Hi", which is a completely common thing they do in other countries. But in Norway, it's a bit common. However, most people just give the bus driver a nod, or a smile, as if saying "yeah, I heard you, and Hi to you as well. I just can't be bothered to say it, so I'm going to smile at you instead". Today I said hi back, and maybe he was a bit surprised, because he said hi back a second time, which caused us both to laugh a bit. And in the corner of my eye, I spotted a guy who had been observing this exchange of hi's. He was smiling, which I saw once I turned away from the bus driver to find a seat, so I smiled at him. I spent this afternoon doing errands, and in ten days or so, I'll have the pictures from my disposable camera. I spent more time than usual deciding whether to buy myself some biscuits along with my tea today. And I actually ended up doing the healthy thing-- dropped buying biscuits all together, and went for yoghurt as a treat. But I did buy a bar of chocolate. Although that's for Saturday, so, yeah. Tomorrow is my first proper day at "praksis", and I'm a bit worried about getting there on time and finding my way through the hospital. Oh well, can't see the future. I'm going to go eat now, then do a bit of reading, because I've not done any reading today. Instead I watched the VMA's, which I thought was quite good, seeing as there were a lot of women doing well. It was a pleasure to see the audience sing along to Sam Smith. Beyonce was amazing as per usual. Ariana Grande mentioned that her album was out today, so one of the first things I did now was to purchase A Little Bit of Your Heart so I can listen to it on repeat and belt it out. Anyway, have a good evening. 

even when I look discretely down into her eyes, you know I'm thinking bout that time I spent between your thighs

Goodness, it'd be easier to just write a list of the things I didn't do today. That's just how it goes these days, but it's fine. I let myself relax a bit, watch Masterchef and read a fan fiction. The thing is that everyone can do better, be better. I could have been a proper good student, had I just invested more time in studying. Maybe I'd feel more accomplished? Maybe once I'd reached the finish-line, I could look back and be happy about my effort. But the truth is that I think I would be deeply unhappy. And I'd rather look back at my years in school and think of all the fun I had. I've turned my bedroom upside down today, just because I wanted to get rid of all the dust. Had a proper cleaning in my usually littered drawer too. I don't know if you've ever seen that Friends episode where Monica has this little storage room locked for anyone to see, but it is a room that's messy and filled with cluttered things. Very unlike Monica, who almost can be categorised as a person with a cleaning obsession. I feel like my drawer was a mini-version of Monica's storage room. Today, however, I cleaned it all out. Apart from some electronic wires, it's finally organised! Next up it'll probably be my closet. But I never do things I know will take me a long time, until I can't take it any more (well, most things). The books (curriculum) I was supposed to read today is still on my bed, almost untouched. Oh my god, I just opened one of them to inhale the scent of a new book. And naturally, I closed my eyes when I did this. Once I opened my eyes, though, I was faced with an illustration of a penis. Totally lols. But the point was that I think new books smells heavenly. Anyway, I stumbled across Charly Cox due to a lot of Youtubers. She's a blogger, and I read a few blogposts on my way to work yesterday, and I thought they were honest and hilarious. It's a bit strange, because I mostly only follow bloggers for pictures and inspiration. I don't really read blogs. I suppose her blog will be an exception as I've added her on my list of blogs to read. If you want to give her a shot, you should read her most recent post: "A single girls plea". Tomorrow is my first day at the new "praksis". But it's not really my first day, as I'm not actually going to spend time at my department. We're just having an introduction filled with lectures, I guess. I plan to spend tomorrow doing quite a few errands. Oh the joys of behaving like an adult. Sleep well to all the people who are going to bed or are about to fall asleep x. 

this is pouring rain, this is paralyzed

I woke up to the sound of rain this morning, went to relieve my bladder before I went to sleep again. The alarm went at 8:30 am, but I stayed in bed chilling just because I could. It feels very much like autumn, because it's getting colder and the rain seems never ending. The tree outside my window is still mostly green though. Only a few patches of yellow. I did half of the things I wanted to finish yesterday. But you know, I'm always falling behind these days. I thought that I had finally finished my disposable camera, but I've still got one or two shots? I can't wait to put the images in my new photo album from Muji. Yesterday as I was going to school, there were a lot of people who smiled at me. I find that very unusual, and I was paranoid that I had something on my face. But I think the real reason behind it, is that I've taken an effort to try smile at people, or at least look at people. It is an effort, seeing as I don't really enjoy engaging in eye contact with people. Oh well. I've got work today, which isn't very tempting today, seeing as I'd rather spend my time reading as lame as that sounds. But I think it'll be nice to see my patients again, see how they're all doing. Maybe it'll bring me a bit of peace, as my body and brain seems to run on overdrive these days. Onto another subject-- I had a dream of trying to save a person from getting sucked into quicksand (though it's not really how it works), then getting sucked into it myself. I also dreamed about going out on the town with some very old friends from my childhood, and it was really fun! It's raining heavily again now, so I've decided to open the window and listen to some Bon Iver. How very typical. I am going to finish writing notes for school, and then I have to start getting ready for work soon. Have a nice Saturday! 

I know I'm not your only. But I'll still be a fool, cause I'm a fool for you

Hiya. It's been two weeks and a day since Marble, Ale and I went to Dublin. I've finally made some time to make a post about it, though time is what I lack the most. Ugh, been looking through what I need to do this school semester, and just life in general. Usually I try to avoid planning months ahead, but I figured since it's been on my mind that I've got a lot to do this year, I'd get a better overview. And my chest feels a bit lighter now, because I can actually see through the fog! Lols, do appreciate some metaphors. Anyway, back to the main point about this post-- I bloody love Dublin. I think I'm going to make a post for each day spent in Dublin. And this is the first day. Thursday: «Departure day» 07.08.14. I went to bed at half one in the morning due to stressing about for a bit. This meant that I got about 5 hours sleep or so because I woke up at 4:30 am. I was walking to the train station in what felt like the middle of the night because it was completely silent everywhere. My luggage sounded like an excavator in the midst of all the silence. When I arrived at the train station, I spotted Marble quickly. We went to purchase our train tickets without much trouble. Once we got to the airport, we managed to get our luggage ready without trouble (which we did the last time we travelled together). We picked up some alcohol (gin, vodka and whiskey) at the duty-free, which was one of the best ideas we had. I personally thought the plane-trip was quite long. Maybe it was because I was tired, but unable to fall asleep. Or maybe it was my wish to be in Ireland as soon as possible. Who knows. When we finally landed, we went straight to the food (Upper Crust) because we were hungry and had to wait for Ale to land as well. As we were eating, we were trying to guess people’s nationalities as we were sat right by the escalator. I didn't partake as much, because I suck at these kind of games. After an hour and a half, we went to the arrivals to wait for Ale's arrival. Once we saw her, we hugged and went straight to the bus, which took us into the city centre. The minute we stepped off of the bus, there was a person who asked if we needed help. By then we had already started walking, but it was nice nevertheless. We found our hotel rather quickly due to a very handy app called Stay.com. I recommend it to everyone who enjoys travelling. Sally tipped Ally and I about the app, and it's one of the best things she's done, probably. We left our luggage at the hotel before we went to Grafton Street and bought ourselves some lunch. We had a little lunch in the crowded Stephen Green’s Park, and it was actually really nice. I can’t quite remember what happened after that, but I suspect that we explored the Stephen Green’s shopping centre (the first picture) for a bit, before we went to the hotel and checked in. We got refreshed before we went to explore more of the city. The supper was eaten at Wagamamas, which we had walked past earlier. I had some Pad Thai (picture number three!). The girls tasted of Sake for the first time, and their facial expressions were priceless. I've actually got a picture of them when they taste it which is quite funny. I got a Singha, which tastes like water compared to Sake. Before this we did a bit of pre-gaming. It was Marble’s take on being a bartender. She served Gin Russians, Vodka Cranberry, and other mixes. We ended up at the famous Temple Bar where we got to listen to a live band play traditional Irish music. It was a lot of fun, and we sat through the whole set. After that we did a bit of a bar hopping. We went through different pubs and listened to the live music, which seems to be at each pub in Ireland. We returned to Harcourt Street (second picture, though this is taken in the early day) late, and I fell asleep at 3:30 am, I think? Or maybe later, even. All I know is that I had a really great first day in Ireland, and it was the best start I could have had, probably. 

I don't ever ask you where you've been. And I don't feel the need to know who you're with

Kiwi and I went to the Operahouse in Oslo today, and once we got to the top (second picture), I said "I feel a bit like we've reached heaven". We went there because we had some time to kill before the bus to IKEA would arrive. So we chilled out at the top for a bit until a wasp that was seemingly stalking us reappeared. There's only so much someone can take of a constant buzzing wasp. Anyway, the weather was quite gorgeous, and it was so warm. We had one really good lecture today, and one more average. I skipped the last hour of the last lecture because I wouldn't have gained anything, trying to sit through another hour and not being able to concentrate on whatever she was telling us. It is a shame, but it's hard sitting through hours upon hours with lectures. And especially since the whole week has been like this. Oh well. Kiwi, Marble and I went to IKEA and we had dinner first to get some kind of energy back in our bodies. Then we got ourselves a trolley and dumped all our things in it. I ended up buying two things, which were both actually needed. When I got home, I went to the post office to get two new school books, and I wasn't home until 6:30 pm probably. Now I've finished exercising (whilst listening to Justin Bieber), eaten spring rolls, done some school work, cleaned my bedroom for scattered clothing. Today is my brother's birthday, but since Lynx and co were leaving this morning, we had a little celebration yesterday. It was genuinely one of my very favourite days in a long time. It was very nice spending time with my family, and Grepper and I had great banter. During the night, we were talking about a certain judge in Norwegian Idol. I asked Grepper "what is his background in music, really?". Grepper responded with a very fulfilling answer, in which I asked him: "wow, how do you even know that much about him?". Grepper said he kept updated, then spluttered a bit really. "I read the news, you know". His reaction to my question was really funny, because I think he became aware of the fact that yes, he really does know a lot about this certain judge. I got a lot of hugs from my nephew, and now he gives these proper hugs as well. He's well chatty, and isn't afraid to insult anyone. Lols. Unintentionally, that is. It was a good night, yesterday. Admittedly it was pretty sad to come home to a house empty for Lynx and co. Including their dog who usually will come running to sniff you and say "hello". During the lecture today, I suddenly realised that I didn't say goodbye to the dog this morning, which made me a bit sad. For a minute, I was tempted to pet my belieber friend's hair. Oh well, I'll see them later this autumn. I am currently obsessed with A Little Bit of Your Heart by Ariana Grande. Admittedly I read that Harry Styles wrote the song for her, and I read the lyrics before I heard the song. I really fell for the lyrics, because it's a bit angst-y and sad. I'm not usually that fond of Ariana Grande because her voice can become a bit too much for me. Especially since I have a habit of listening to a song on repeat for days. I reckon I'll probably get tired of it soon, but you know I'm a sucker for some good lyrics. I've got another day of school tomorrow. And I've got so much to read up on. It's stressing me out, the feeling of not having any time when I'm supposed to do so much. But the thing is, realistically, I'm probably not going to be able to do all I want within the end of this weekend. We set ourselves up for disappointment a lot of the time. The truth is, that most likely I'll be fine by the end of my new "praksis". So I'm not really that worried. Right- I am going to bed shortly, because I'm really knackered. 

you deserve a forever, not a boy looking for better

1. It's Monday and I thought to myself "hm, is it the weekend yet?". 2. There are nerves bubbling to the surface when I call my boss, but they evaporate once the conversation starts. 3. My mum's complaining about the dog being spoiled as he's curled up on her lap. But when I turn around to look at her, I see a fond look at her face. 4. Being a young student feels like walking around thinking about money all the time. 5. If we had been standing there for longer I think I would've let him kiss me. His hands found my back, then my waist- I would have let him embrace me properly. 6. I love Scandinavia, it's the best and I'm so glad to have been born here. 7. Another e-mail with a good deal on plane tickets to Dublin. With all the school work and other things that's been on my mind lately, I sometimes forget that I went to Dublin. But then there's the random moments, like when I almost fell asleep on the bus today, and I thought "oh, I remember when I fell asleep on the bus on our way back into Dublin after a day of mountain hiking". 8. Actually finished reading the curriculum I had planned to read. Oh the feeling of accomplishment. It's all good. 9. His eyes were blue, blue and blue. He was charming and had a good humour. I followed him with my eyes, but so did everyone else. I looked at him, and he looked back at me. Then he looked away, but his eyes found mine again. And again. And again. 10. I'm trying my best to keep mum-- it's not my job to crush dreams. Let her learn from her own mistakes. I shouldn't be so pessimistic, who knows what will happen? 

it cut me sharp, hearing you'd gone away

Good evening! I don't think I've ever shared this picture before, but it's from back in June after the One Direction concert in Sweden. We were walking slowly, but surely over a bridge and the sun had been setting. Was just looking through my folder of pictures from this Summer, because it feels like the summer weather just disappeared all of a sudden. Oh well. I woke up a few times this morning, once due to a strange dream. The second time because my sister's dog once again managed to open my bedroom door and jumped up in my bed. The third time was when my alarm went, and the fourth time was when my dad was calling us down for breakfast. I slept approximately two hours more than I was supposed to, so I've slept about ten hours. Sleeping more than I need doesn't make me feel more rested, rather more tired. My dad had made a rather large breakfast, so I went into a little food-coma afterwards. Decided to indulge myself and read fan fiction in bed whilst sporadically petting my sister's dog because he was whining for attention. When the time was around 2:00 pm, I finally finished the fan fiction and decided to do some proper reading (curriculum). But it was cut short because my sister's dog was whining. So I went for a walk/jog with him that lasted between 75-90 minutes. The jogging part was unintentional despite my workout gear. It started raining quite a bit at the end, so I ran the last part home, to avoid getting completely drenched. It didn't work very well, but it was fine because I was planning on showering the dog anyway. I think the walk/jog tired him out, because he's not whined once since we got home. I did my exercise routine, and had a shower  before I started reading again. I'm trying to get into exercise-mode again, because my exercise has been suffering during summer due to a lot of different things. But goodness, it's really tiresome exercising. I'm going to try to work more yoga into my exercising. Anyway, I'm going to eat and have a break from studying now. And then I'll carry on for a bit before bed. Ugh, this weekend passed too quickly. Oh well, nothing you can do really. I'm not looking forward to waking up early tomorrow, and the early train stuffed with people. Bah! But it's good. Another day, another adventure. 

she don't feel the same about us in her bones

Hi there! I think there was one other person at school today. It was a tiny bit creepy, but I've been at school when there's close to no people at school before. I did get a bit of reading done, so I'm happy with that. I read a chapter about our skeleton (anatomy) this morning, and tomorrow I'll read about illnesses and diagnoses that's related to the skeleton. I am reading all of this to prepare for my praksis, so it's not for any exam. Though I'm not sure if it's a part of the curriculum or not. I also got a few other school-related things I need to get done preferably within tomorrow. It's just so much, and it's a constant struggle between wanting to be productive and do school-stuff, and to just chill and spend time on social media. Ugh. I've also spent loooooooaaaads of money on school-related things today. It's safe to say that I won't be much of a big spender this autumn. One of the things I've invested in, is a new computer. Finally-- I've been thinking about buying a new one for years now, and Monchita has probably been telling me to get a new computer for a year now. I'm constantly scared that my current computer will shut down, and I'll end up with nothing. I've had this computer for five years, so I'm not sure how I'll adapt to the new one. I was reading up on all the features on the chosen pc, and I was like "what the hell is that?". Everything is so modern these days, and I've not even chosen a really new model. I think I'll mostly use the new one for school-related things, so I'll still be using this for personal use as long as it will have me. Main point is that it sucks spending lots of money on things, when it could potentially have been used on travelling. To this very day, I remember listening to my teacher's sister-in-law telling us how she would rather spend all her money earned on travels rather than her drivers licence. Lols, I'm currently listening to a playlist on my iTunes consisting of the 25 songs I've listened to the most. And Diana by One Direction is one of them. I am really surprised, seeing as the mentioned song was one of the songs I didn't like from the album. I am really looking forward to hear some new music from the lads, though I'm a bit nervous about change of directions. I had this very strange realisation yesterday: there's loads of beautiful men in this world (well, loads of beautiful people, but). Like, I was just walking past this man who looked absolutely gorgeous, and I got this realisation. I've got this thing where I don't like staring at people, but man, I'm trying to get more comfortable staring at people so I can stare at gorgeous men. Maybe it should be one of my new years resolutions for next year? (my goodness, I am so strange. Can't believe myself sometimes). Speaking of new years, I also had a realisation today that it's soon Christmas. Or, well, not really. But it's getting darker at night, and it's obvious that autumn is coming (or already here). Might be time to bring out the jumpers again. Oh, I am going to write about Dublin soon. I've just not finished my own diary of Dublin yet, so it might take a bit of time. But hey, here's a picture of legs on sofa's and chairs in the lounge room at HTL Kungsgatan in Stockholm. Goodness, I really love that hotel. It's almost tempting going to Stockholm just to stay at that hotel. Alright, I must go to bed if I want an early start tomorrow. Sleep well x. 

there were holes in you, the kind that I could not mend

We left for Dublin one week and one day ago, and I think I've finally recovered from the trip. I've been so tired the past few days, and it doesn't really surprise me, when our days were full-packed and without much sleep. I'm still very sad about not being in Dublin anymore (and god how I miss listening to the different Irish accents), but today was the first day I was glad for school to start. We had the funniest (not intentionally funny, I think) lecturers today. So, despite sitting inside for six hours, I had such a laugh. Sometimes it felt like watching two comedians instead of two lecturers, so that really made my day. With school starting again, it's like someone awoke me from a dream. It's back to reality, and I've got a list of all the things I should do, and then I'll see what I actually do. I've managed to cross off one thing on my list. That's not very satisfying when your list is long. My sister's dog has been very needy as always, and I got a snapchat from my sister this morning-- he was sleeping in my bed. It wouldn't really have been a problem if he didn't stink as much as he does. Due to my long list of things to do, I am actually going to spend my day at school tomorrow. It sounds a bit strange, especially since I spent my last Saturday out on the town in Dublin. But it's sort of the one thing I've been looking forward to-- spending time at school and getting things done. It's just boosting for your feel of accomplishment (only when you actually get things done, though). Anyway, the books that I didn't finish reading this summer must go back to the library, because there's no way I'm going to start any new books in the midst of my studies. Today was spent at school, walking the dog, eating, catching up on Youtube and folding clothes. Once I unpacked from Dublin, I just threw all of my clothes to be washed. So today I had a bunch of clothes waiting to be folded and put back in my wardrobe. Which means I finally have clothes again, ha. Right, I ought to go to bed now. See ya x. 

What's wrong with the world, mama. People livin' like they ain't got no mamas. I think the whole world addicted to the drama, only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma

"Hand's up, don't shoot". I have just been reading about what's been happening in Ferguson, and I am absolutely enraged. An 18-year old black guy called Michael Brown was supposedly killed by a local police man in Ferguson. He was unarmed, and there were supposedly not any legitimate reason for the shooting of Brown. You can read more about it, if you care to educate yourself. It's frightening to see that we're constantly going in circles. We've not learned from the past, and to be honest, it doesn't look like we're moving much forward either. I believe that Brown will be another name in our history books some day, and it'll show that even in the 20th centuries, the world is struggling with racism in such a large scale, and dare I say so-- apartheid is still a thing. There's been a lot of focus on Ferguson as a consequence of the shooting, but I know for sure that it's not the only place in the USA (or in the world) that these kind of things happen. I am hoping that the rage that this case has caused will make a difference to the situation today. You should never say that things like discrimination, racism, etc. are abolished. There's injustice everywhere every day. The world is a beautiful place, but it's also ugly. Maybe that's what makes it interesting, but to be honest; I would rather have less innocent people die each day. I'm going to repeat the slogan or motto of the Brown shooting: hands up, don't shoot. 

I will remember your face, cause I am still in love with that place

I spent yesterday mostly moping around. (Not even Niall Horan could cheer me up). And though I had decided to go to bed early, I sat up until 2:00 am. I was listening to a playlist on 8tracks when All I Want by Kodaline started playing, and I just burst into tears. It's not like we even heard that song very often in Ireland. But we did listen to it a few times, and we did occasionally sing it because Kodaline is an Irish group. One day we even heard a street artist sing it, and you should have seen the smiles on our faces. It was like all the pieces were falling into place. I did read that the best part about being a cancer (horoscope) is that you're maternal, and the worst part is that you're over emotional. I think that really describes me well. I've still been a bit morose today. The thing is, I always go and fall in love with the places I travel to. Some places more than others (really fell in love with Paris, actually). And I always have these post-travel-depressions. However, Ireland has been in my heart for a very long time, and it's one of the only places in this world that I really have wanted to go. I've got a lot of wishes for where I want to travel, but going to Ireland has been a dream. I remember Allie telling me about that time she went to Dublin, and I was so in awe of her tales. Initially I was afraid that I was getting my hopes too high, and that I would be disappointed. But the trip really exceeded my expectations. It's not until now that I've realised that a place can be gorgeous, amazing, wonderful -- but it's the people who really makes a place. I went to Dublin already infatuated with the idea of Ireland. And I got home, in love with Ireland. And coincidentally, I'm listening to another playlist on 8tracks now, and it's currently playing All I Want by Kodaline. I'm not going to cry right now, surely. You know what? I'm just looking forward to another trip to Ireland, because this might have been the first, but it's not the last. See ya, Ireland. 

all I want is nothing more than to see your face at my door

Hello, how are ya? I'm currently sat at the dining table, trying to write my own Dublin diary because I'm scared to forget anything. My sister's dog is sat on my lap because he's really needy and wants TLC most of the time (he's such a baby, that dog). I got home around 2:00 am yesterday after a really long day. It was topped off with observing a car crash, and I had to call the emergency people. I've no idea how it went, but hopefully it went alright. I had this muffin which I bought at Marks & Spencer's yesterday, and a cuppa for my brekkie. And look at my newest mug! Isn't it wonderfully touristy? I am in love with all of the Irish merchandise I bought during this trip. I don't care if it's tacky, I just want to show my love for Ireland (which is a lot). Agh, I'm just so sad that I'm home and no longer in Dublin. The thought of going home was making me quite emotional the last days of our Dublin adventure. I will probably write more about our adventures soon. Just have to make peace with the fact that I'm home and have to start school in a few days (didn't exactly help getting an e-mail with cheap plane ticket offers, one of which was to Dublin). I've unpacked most of my things, I've washed my make-up brushes, washed my shoes, been wailing in my own sadness, etcetera. Despite sleeping until 11:30 am this morning, I've been feeling tired throughout the day. So I might go to bed early today. I mean, I can understand my tiredness because the Dublin-trip was quite full-on. Right, I'm going to eat now. And then maybe let myself go through Tumblr. Oh dear. 

been dreaming about you a lot

Hello sunshine. I was stupid enough to say yes to a shift at work this morning, so one of the many Skype sessions with Ale was cut short. I said my goodbyes to Marble after hanging at her place for almost six hours. During those hours, I helped her make a packing list because apparently I'm super-organised. I wonder how she's progressed today-- I'll probably call her later. We made food, watched telly and listened to music. I introduced both Ale and Marble to Happy Little Pill by Troye Sivan. I don't actually think I've mentioned the song on this blog before, but I've been listening to it non-stop since it was released. It's just really good. I'll write my current little playlist at the end of this post. Anyway, I speed-walked home after saying goodbye. But I stopped at a grocery store to buy myself a few snacks for tomorrow. And it was outside this shop that I realised why it was important to avoid any commitments today: the tickets for the 1D concert movie went on sale this morning at 09:00 am. By the time I realised this, it was already 10:30 pm, and I actually called work, but the person who had called me, had already left work. I called Kiwi about it, and in the end we agreed that she would try purchase the tickets. I was home around 11:00 pm, and the moment I hit the bed, I was wide awake. Basically, I didn't have the best of sleep to be honest. I sucked it up and woke up far more earlier than I wanted, and I got ready. We're currently babysitting my sister's dog whilst she and her family is on holiday. And this morning he jumped up in my lap on the sofa and promptly fell asleep. Could hear him snoring, even. Work today was really exhausting. I did most of the job, despite being three people working. It was just really annoying, because any other co-workers would realise that "oh hey, you've gotten a lot to do today, why don't I help you?". I actually sighed in relief once, because I thought one of my co-workers had helped me, but it appeared she had not. Ugh, I'm definitely glad I've not got work in a while. When I got home, I ate, and just enjoyed sitting down for a bit. Then I've exercised (ugh, it's worse when you've skipped exercising for a while. I'm developing bad habits), and I'm going to start my packing now. Luckily I don't spend too much time packing because I'm so used to it? I have to get to bed early because I have a frighteningly early start tomorrow. I guess this is goodbye for a bit, seeing as I'm leaving for Dublin tomorrow. Can't say the blogging for August have been very frequent, but I suppose that's just how it goes. Have a nice August day x.

Oh (my current playlist which consists of mostly Ed Sheeran, new songs, and not so new ones)
1. I'm A Mess by Ed Sheeran
2. Riptide by Vance Joy
3. Bloodstream by Ed Sheeran
4. Happy Little Pill by Troye Sivan
5. Photograph by Ed Sheeran
6. Leave Your Lover by Sam Smith
7. Afire Love by Ed Sheeran

fly me to the moon, let me play among the stars

Ha, I just discovered that my camera is full with blurry pictures (very close-up selfies of my nephew, and blurry pictures of my family). Hm, I do wonder who might be the culprit in this case. Better leave it to Mrs. Fletcher, or Derrick. I'm sorry for the lack of blogging. I really thought I had blogged on Sunday, but apparently not. Oh well, I've had a few good days with the family despite the rainy days. Yesterday we went to the mall, and I met two familiar faces. One of which was Marble. I'm actually going to see her today, because we need to do a bit of planning and skyping with Ale. Lynx and co. has gone off for their proper holiday, so I think I'm going to spend my morning doing some cleaning. Especially my bedroom. I skipped out on cleaning on Sunday and well. It looks very disorganised in here with clothing everywhere. Oh god yesterday evening, I was just going through Tumblr when I saw this picture. Initially I thought it was fake, because people makes these kind of things in Photoshop all the time. But when I got on Twitter to see, I was surprised to see that Liam Payne of One Direction had actually changed his bio and his name to "Mrs Horan". And his tweets are legitimately so alike proper fan tweets, it's hilarious. I think he should just keep it like that, and continue encouraging Niall to lose his clothes. However, he did say "No one is more Mrs Horan than I am" at last nights concert, so he seems a bit possessive. But hey this happened during one of their concerts. Plus Niall and Liam did admit to being married in this interview from early this year. Lols, whoever says I'm too invested in One Direction is right. I coloured my hair yesterday, so now it's a bit different. I reckon it'll change with the weather as well, so who knows how it'll end up. I call it my autumn-do, and it's very suiting seeing as a few of the leaves on the tree outside my bedroom window has turned yellow. The weather does seem like it's autumn already, so I'm a bit excited to see if there will be any late-summer weather this year, or if it's just autumn weather from now on. Erm, it's like two days until Dublin, so I'm a bit stressed out because I've yet to do any packing, and I'm so confused by the weather, and bah. There's just a lot of minor things that I have to do. And when that compiles on top of each other, it feels like I've got loads to do. But you know what, I don't care much about that. Because you know, I'm going to Dublin soon! And it's with two of my best friends, so I can't wait to have some adventures. I've been watching a lot of FunForLouis lately (a Youtube channel), and I love Louis so much. I've never watched him regularly. I'm more of a "oh it's been a while since I've seen his videos", and then I proceed to marathon his videos for some hours. He's basically a very inspiring guy that loves to travel, meet people and have adventures. And he vlogs (video blogging) himself doing just that. Why he is special? Because of his optimism in life, I think. Anyone could vlog about their adventures and travels in life, but not many could radiate such an optimism like he does. Also, speaking of favourites on Youtube. Esteè and Aslan from EssieButtonVlogs are travelling through Scandinavia this month. And I'm so excited. I hope they do a meet-up or something, because I would love to meet some of my favourites. Right, now I must actually get on with my life and try to minimize the list of things I need to do. Have a nice Tuesday. Goodness, it's August! Wow, times sure does fly away. This made me think of Frank Sinatra. (Come Fly With Me, Fly Me to The Moon). 

I won’t ever let you go. Wait for me to come home

I walked past a mirror at the mall today, and I was surprised to see how French I looked. Due to the strange weather today, there's been a lot changes of clothing. And somehow I guess I ended up wearing clothes that resembled what I think a French woman would wear. I drove a bit with my dad this morning, and on the way back home it started pour with rain. And I was quite terrified, because it felt a bit like driving with my eyes squinted. Basically felt a bit blind. Luckily it stopped a bit (then it started again). But driving 60 km in the pouring rain felt a bit like I was going to die. Held my breath at times, even. But we got home safe and sound, to my relief. And I warned Lynx and Grepper when they were on their way to the mall. Right-- 1. Picture of my brekkie the other day. I'm still a sucker for vanilla yoghurt, and I made a heart with my blueberries because it was satisfying to look at. 2. The name of a chapter in the Bridget Jones book called "Direction!". It's just that every time I hear or read that word, I instantly think of One Direction. 3. Mad about The Boy by Helen Fielding, the actual Bridget Jones book I keep going on about. I ended up finishing the book at 2:00 am because I procrastinated yesterday. It was very Bridget Jones-y and I was really annoyed with Bridget a lot of the time, because how can she not have learnt from past mistakes. And I was rolling my eyes fondly because she's so silly. I had a hunch how it would end, and it was really good. I laughed a lot, which I was not surprised by. And I was really happy with how it ended. I really hope it's turned into a movie as well. I can't not think of Renee Zellweger as Bridget Jones. Oh wait, I just googled her picture, and it seems like her face has completely changed? Oh no. Anyway, whilst reading the book late last night, I watched the release concert for Ghost Stories by Coldplay. It was so pleasing for the eyes and ears. Goodness, I totally fancy Chris Martin. I've officially got holidays for eleven days, and I started out this morning with two hours less sleep than what I should have gotten. Half of my hair has been cut off, and maybe I should have snapped a picture of all the hair, but it was swept away by the time I could think of it. My short hair is also one of the reasons for why I feel a tiny bit French. I still have this kind of ombre going on, and I kind of like it better with shorter hair. But I really want a change of colour, I think, because I've had it for four months now, and I feel like a change is what I need. The best part about chopping your hair off, is the first shower, because it's so liberating not having to spend so much shampoo or time even-- on washing your hair. We got a picture from Lynx and Grepper's wedding, and it's really pretty I think. Very satisfying I think, because there's an equal amount of people in the picture, and the background is really nice and whatnot. Anyway, I should go now, enjoy my Saturday off and be with my family.