you'd be on your knees and struggle under the weight

I didn't exercise yesterday. I've got certain days I exercise, but sometimes during the days I haven't got an exercise-session scheduled, I might do one purely because I want to. I've taken my new work-out clothing on a spin today. Wore them as loungewear, then I went to the library and the grocery store in them. I picked up the second book in the Undivided-dystology. I read three pages whilst waiting for my sushi, then I walked home in the rain. The clothes performed well during my exercise this evening, even the tights. That being said, I didn't do much cardio, so I didn't get too warm. I wore make-up for the first time today, since the day I got home from Bergen. I just really felt like doing the latter. My decisions are mostly chosen because I want to do it, rather than what I "should" do. The heart wants what it wants (wise words by Selena). I've no idea how I didn't know Harry Styles was coming out with a single. I've heard whispers of him working on his solo music, but he's been keeping things quite hush. To be fair, he isn't very active on social media. I'm excited to hear what he'll deliver. And it'll be nice to see his face again, when (if) he does promo. I'm gonna watch another episode of Please Like Me before bed, and then tomorrow I think I might buy a lamp. 

I can't fall in love without you, so please don't fall in love without me

It's feels like it's been ages already, but I am still forlorn about Please Like Me. It's also troublesome for me that the fanbase is sort of small, and I haven't seen any fan fiction. However will I be able to live on without fan fiction if I can't have the real deal either? I think that I just have to re-watch the whole thing again. Maybe that's the only way for me to quit being so bloody forlorn. I actually ended up finishing reading my book yesterday. I did postpone it a bit, so I wasn't done until midnight, which wasn't the best decision. I had to get up early today, and I can't really ever guarantee that I sleep through the night. I didn't, so I ended up with 4 1/2 hours of sleep. The book is called Unwind by Neal Shusterman, which is a part of a dystology. I am not really one for dystopia, especially not when it's too exaggerated. I do think that Unwind was a good read-- it's an interesting plot, which is what sold me in the first place. I was just walking through the book store and picked up the book to read what it was about. I practically read the whole book in one go really, and you can't help but become fond of the characters. There was a part in which gave chills in a bad way, and I thought of that strange chill when I walked into the morgue for the first time today. I've never been, and hands down, I've never felt quite like that despite how many morgues I've seen on television. Gah, anyway, I'll probably go borrow the next book in the series tomorrow. I picked up a parcel at the post office today, and it was my new gym gear. I got myself a new sportsbra, tights and a thin headband. The latter I borrowed when I was at Monchita's, and we hiked up the mountain. And I just realised it was a mistake on my part to not own a thin headband. I'm not very good at wearing a hats and whatnot. I just think they're fussy, and I feel like I'm always tugging at them. So when it's cold, I usually go without. But with the headband, it felt almost effortless, and I got to keep some of my head warm. I don't think I've ever been this happy with an online shopping session before, because I really loved all of the things I got. The last time I can remember buying clothing for exercise, is when I bought my yoga shorts, or was it my other pair of tights? All I know is that it's been more than a year. Despite the horrid weather (it actually snowed today), I'm motivated to get my exercise on. I didn't end up doing anything yesterday because I was so focused on finishing the book. But maybe today's the day. On my way home a few hours ago, I saw this kid. He was just casually skateboarding in the rain, eating crisps. I just thought to myself "what a way to just be", and it made me smile. Without knowing it, this 18-year old just inspired me. 

Don't you think I give a fuck, give a fuck 'bout who you fuck. But I hope you can't get it up

I'm still gutted about Please Like Me. After posting my blogpost yesterday, I went back to re-watch the two last episodes. I cried again, and then I spent the rest of my battery on my phone stalk the cast on Instagram, and to look up the "Please Like Me" tag on Tumblr. I'm pretty sure I've seen Josh's (the main character) face on Tumblr before, but like a lot of things, it went unnoticed by me. Waking up this morning, I charged my phone and went on to watch Youtube videos related to the show. I can't remember ever being so instantly obsessed with something, like I've become now. I have felt likewise about movies, I think. But to feel this way about four seasons of a show, the entire thing, is new to me. I just feel like I really fell in love with a television show, but they didn't feel as strongly about me. I want more, but they've had enough, and just want to move on. So they let me down nicely, but I had no idea they didn't feel the same way? And now I'm alone, and they've left this void that seems impossible to fill. Yes, that's about how I feel. It's just a really great television show that portraits the years of going from a young adult to "becoming an adult" in a realistic way, okay? And that was perfect for me at this point in life. I would love to re-watch the whole series, but I just finished it yesterday, so it would be too recent. I really appreciate that despite introducing new characters to the show, practically everyone was still there. Even if they just did a cameo in the next season. Also Wade Briggs is beautiful-- I just wanted to put it out there. Yes, I am aware that I am rambling like the adolescent me praising Nick Jonas' curls back in the day. I just am not over it! I keep having flashbacks to scenes I adore (and there's sooo many), and it's great and awful at the same time. Ugh. The good news is that in order to try to move on, I actually picked up the book I'm supposed to finish reading within March. I've only read 19 pages, but so far, so good. I've not been quite as productive as yesterday, but it's getting there. I might even exercise today too, just because I want to. I have high hopes of actually getting a good dent into the book, because if I can, I would like to be done with it within the end of March. It's really scary how quickly we're already starting the fourth month of this year. 

Could you take my place and stand here? I do not think you would take this pain

Instead of finally picking up the book that's been collecting dust on my bedside table, I started watching Please Like Me. I was just browsing Netflix the other day, and I came across it. In the description, it said something like "the same day Josh gets dumped by his girlfriend and realises he's gay, his mum attempts suicide". I've binge-watched the whole four seasons in two days, and it's given me so much. It's somehow quirky, funny, and so bloody honest. It's all the small details, and it's so real. It's a fucking gem, sprouting all of this wisdom. You think you're just watching a breakfast scene, but when you think about it again, you realise they just delivered something so wise. It's like when a dancer makes their dancing look deceivingly simple-- because that's how good they are! I feel the same way about the writers and directors for Please Like Me. The series has confused me greatly. Food seems to be a focus (especially the intros), then they've sometimes got amazing shots of the magnificent nature, but it's also a regular drama/comedy show, it's bloody everything. I think it's confusing me because I've never seen something like it, but thinking about it, does make sense. It's confusing just like life, because it's a television show that portraits life so brilliantly. I genuinely think it portraits so many aspects about life, and happenings that people go through. I actually think it's the best television show I've ever seen when it comes to comedy dramas. But also, just in general. I just really appreciated watching a television show that was a good reflection of actual life. And did I mention the attention to details? Because they did it so well. Sadly it's only four seasons, and I didn't realise that whilst watching it. In my head, there would be more. I wasn't ready for it to end, I am kinda furious about it. Regardless, I'm grateful to have found this gem. Despite the great weather yesterday, and the fact that I got to wear this jacket out for the first time, I had a bit of a shit day. Just one of those days where it feels like you've failed. That being said, I did manage to screw up the ratio of water in a soup made from a bag. But whereas I'll have days where I'll just laugh of doing something like that, yesterday was a bit more self loathing. In the end, I knew my day would be better once today. Before noon today, I'd eaten breakfast, washed the dishes, put on a load in the washing machine, vacuumed the carpets in the house, washed the tables, washed my own face. It was sunny today as well, and less windy. So after hanging up the laundry, I sat down at the stairs with a diluted cup of tea. It was lovely, just the feeling of being warmed up by the sun. Also, fresh air is one of the best things I've been fortunate to encounter in my life. Mid-dinner making I realised I'd forgotten cranberry jam, and apparently it's vital for me, because I just couldn't imagine eating dinner without. So I quickly got dressed and ran out of the door-- well, I walked really briskly the metres it takes me to the closest grocery store. It felt funny at the moment, because it felt like watching a sitcom where one of the people have just finished making dinner, and one says "oh, where's the sauce?" and then they have to wait to eat until they've gone to the store, bought the sauce, and then made the sauce. And by then the food's gone cold, and it's all a fail. I hadn't finished making dinner, so I had the time to get the jam. But it still felt silly that I'd find the cranberry jam to be so bloody vital. Ugh, I'm still fucking annoyed Please Like Me is over.

deep in my core you know you have a throne

I met Sugar in the wardrobes after work yesterday. I've not seen her since Kiwi and Marble's birthday celebration, even if we work at the same hospital and have the same wardrobe. It's strange. Anyway, she had some sparetime to kill, so we sat down at a cafe. It's the first time I've met her since the proposal, so I had a look at the ring. It's such a strange thought that in the near future, I'll have two friends who are married. It makes me feel rather grown up, although I am so far away from being at that step in life. We had a nice catch-up over our green tea's, and then we went grocery shopping together. I woke up fairly early this morning, which suited me fine. Cleaned my bedroom because I won't make time for it tomorrow. And then I met up with Marble for a walk. It truly is disappointing that there's no mountain nearby. We made do anyway, and caught up whilst walking in the lovely weather. We walked a hike, in which I'm very familiar with, only I haven't walked or run there in ages. It used to be where I jogged, way back when I actually went for jogs. On my way home, I stopped by the grocery store to buy chocolate. As you know, it's Saturday, so I had to get some. Upon arriving at home, I recognised my brother's shoes. So I ended up sitting downstairs in the living room for awhile, until he left. I retired to my bedroom, and decided to exercise. I'm really happy with myself this week for actually doing all my exercises as planned. It makes me even more motivated to feel how my body is gaining from physical activity. It's a great reminder of how amazing the body is, and to appreciate it as long as it lasts. I do my exercise at home (for the most part) and I prefer as little clothing as possible. I'm usually prone to wearing my sportsbra and a pair of yoga shorts. I can't wear anything loose, because it distracts me during work-outs. I'm strange like that. Anyway, I only have two exercise tights in my possession, and the only ones I actually use are the ones pictured. Since I don't use them when I'm exercising at home, they're only used whenever I'm doing some kind of exercise outside of the house. It's pretty rare that it happens, but I'd like for it to happen more often. Surely this is an excuse to indulge in some new work-out gear? 

bitter sweet and strange, finding you can change, learning you were wrong

Why don't I read Sherlock Holmes fan fiction, I thought to myself yesterday, as I'd finally finished watching the four seasons. And then I managed to find one which is 2577 pages in iBooks. I've decided that you become highly fond of the main characters in Sherlock Holmes, which is a good thing. I am therefore highly enjoying this fan fiction I've found. That being said, I should hope to finish it soon, because if I want to go with the "read a book a month", I should finally pick up the book on my nightstand. I have been the epitome of laziness today. I've practically done naught but sprawl on my beloved bed. I've done a bit of a sorting out my t-shirts. I am due an organisation of my whole closet, but I'm waiting for the weather to become a bit more warmer, a bit more "hello, I'm spring, and I'm here to stay". I've recently seen two birds building their nests, and it's such a nice sign of spring. I'm looking forward to a walk with Marble this weekend. The weather forecast seem to be on our side. I'm going to do a bit of exercise in a minute, which hopefully will counteract my laziness today. 

you love when I fall apart, so you can put me together

Scrap it, everything. Erase it. How many times haven't you started something, and then forgotten about it? I've got my documents numbered 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. All named after the attempts, and they're forgotten. In high school my teacher made us correct our own tests, so we'd learn from our mistakes. He would make us see beyond, and he would make us learn not to scrap everything. Another teacher, earlier than high school, taught me to not use the eraser when drawing. So when the nose I drew was too big, I'd just add lines to it, use it as another part of my drawing. Just incorporate your mistakes, make art of it. But it's so difficult when you can't see the ending. Then again, where's the fun in knowing? 

I wonder if I'm good enough. But maybe I've just had too much to drink, to smoke, to swallow

Despite my recent discovery; I don't enjoy the "before getting on a plane" part, I had a very pleasant experience on my way to Bergen. The airport has undergone some major work the past years, and I think most of the work is done now. I was very impressed with the architectonic vibe I got from the new gate I was sat at. Bergen was great, busy and rainy. I went from the plane to a late lunch/early dinner with Ale. We then went back to hers, I said hello to her housemates and we chilled for awhile. Before it was too late, we started getting ready for the 90's party. Ale did my hair, and I personally thought it looked amazing. Somehow I forgot to take a picture (I did take one on Snapchat, but I didn't save it), in fact I've barely taken any pictures at all. We were planning on ending the night early, but we ended up being the last ones to leave the party. Went to bed at 3 am, woke up at 10 am. I had breakfast, dragged my hand luggage with me on the bus, and then I was outside Monchita's place. I basically got changed into clothing more appropriate for hiking. We stopped by the store to buy some snacks (chocolate) for the mountain hike. It was slightly snowy on the road we decided to hike, so both Monchita and I were having trouble with the slippery road. We did initially want to walk further than we did, but due to the snow and our lack of suitable shoes, we had to call it quits. It was a beautiful day, and most of the population was taking advantage of it. After a while, the sky got clouded, and it started snowing slightly. So we decided to descend the mountain. We stopped by a tourist information spot to ask about a boat we'd seen from the mountain. "We were just at the mountain and we spotted two boats which looked like that one, but bigger, and we were wondering if you know what they are?". The lady looked understandingly confused. We stopped at the store to buy groceries for lunch and dinner. It ended up being a really late lunch, so we had to have a late dinner. In the meanwhile, Monchita and I decided to go to the cinema. We watched Hidden Figures, and I can definitely see why it was nominated for several Oscars. I just don't see how it didn't win any. Both Monchita and I cried, there were clapping in the audience. I'm very glad I watched it. By the time we'd finished dinner, I was about to keel over. I was out two hours before my sister, and I only woke half an hour before her. I had a shower, got ready, and then I met Ale at a museum. We went on a guided tour, learned about the paintings. Afterwards we walked around by ourselves. It's a fairly big museum, and it's several buildings. So I'd say you should spend a few hours there. We didn't have that much time, so I'd like to go back some other day. We went back to Ale's, and while the dinner was in the oven, Ale attempted to teach me how to play chess. We ate, then we got changed into clothing meant for climbing. It's one of Ale's passions, I guess. I am afraid of heights, but it's manageable. It's also rarely something that makes me freeze up. That being said, I can never know when I will freeze up. When I saw the indoor climbing area, I was shocked by how tall the walls are. I watched Ale and her ex climb the wall before I got to go. My pulse was skyrocketing, and my nervousness was almost palpable. A few metres up, and Ale and her ex told me to let go, to trust that I was safe in my harness. It was the right thing to do, and I had to do it a few metres up again. It got really apparent to me that I didn't have the right muscles to do climbing, but I tried three walls, and I'm happy with that. After saying goodbye to Ale's ex, we went back to her place, where we watched Lights Out. I kinda can't believe I said yes to watch the movie, because I've involuntarily watched half of the trailer on Youtube, and it looked like one of those I'll have nightmares about forever. To my surprise, it wasn't that bad. I went back outside in the rain because I had to get back to Monchita's before it was too late. She had school the next day, so she went to bed before me this time. I did, however, wake up when she woke up. So I was quite tired yesterday morning. But it did mean I had a few hours for myself. It's so easy to forget the importance of having time for myself. After a few hours, Monchita was back, and we got ready to go shopping. We were looking for a dress for Monchita to wear to our sister's wedding. Within an hour of shopping, we found her a new coat and a dress. I'd say it was quite successful. Ale met us at a sushi-place, and then we wandered around the city, looking at shoes and whatnot. In the end we decided to eat dinner, and I ordered a lot of food. The waitress asked: "are you sure you'll be able to eat all of it?". I obviously had to share with Monchita and Ale, because I wouldn't have been able to eat all of it by myself. We sat for awhile, just chatting really, before we ran outside in the rain. Monchita and I said our farewells to Ale, then we walked back to Monchita's. I sat down for a few minutes, before I had to grab my luggage and be on my way. It was a great trip in other words, but it was also very packed with activities, which means I was pretty tired. I managed to loose my umbrella in the toilets at the airport-- I went to look after my umbrella once I realised I'd forgotten it. But it was gone. When I got home, I also realised my face oil had leaked in my rucksack. Luckily my Le Pliage rucksack is nylon and waterproof. But both of these things really sucked all of my energy last night. I slept for ten hours straight, and I'm so happy I'm back in my own bed. Felt like heaven. 

I need to make it on my own, but I don't wanna grow up. We can stay forever young

Jeg skulle hente en vognpose for søsteren i dag. Eneste jeg visste var hvor og når jeg skulle møte denne personen med vognposen. Jeg hadde et telefonnr, men ingen anelse om navn eller utseende. Det er en spesiell følelse å vente på en person som du ikke vet noe om. Annet enn å hente vognposen, har jeg brukt en del av dagen på å rydde. Facetimet Lynx og co. Snakket med den yngste nevøen min som stirret mot meg, men så ut som et spørsmålstegn. Viser seg at de ikke kunne se meg, så det forklarte saken. Lagde middag mens jeg så på Sherlock Holmes, hvilket jeg må innrømme er imponerende laget. Jeg hadde latterkrampe da jeg så en versjon av fan fiction-- jeg kan absolutt se hvorfor mange velger å skrive om Sherlock og John. Det får meg til å lure på om det kun er denne versjonen av Sherlock Holmes som spiller såpass mye på forholdet mellom de to. Jeg har pakket ferdig, sånn ca. Var litt vanskelig å pakke med tanke på vær og aktiviteter, men gjorde mitt beste. Mangler bare de tingene som ikke kan pakkes før jeg reiser. Vurderte å dra med meg det store kameraet mitt, men det skal regne såpass mye at jeg ikke kommer til å dra frem kamera uansett. Får ha med meg det lille kameraet mitt som kjennes så fremmed ut i hendene mine disse dager. Sist gang det var i bruk var faktisk forrige besøket mitt i Bergen. Den gangen dro jeg også uten speilrefleksen. Det er noe befriende med å reise med så lite som mulig også. Klarte å motivere meg nok til å trene i kveld. Feiret det med en liten skål tress-is, bare sjokolade og vanilje selvfølgelig. Det smakte himmelsk. Tror jeg skal bruke resten av kvelden til å lese. I det siste har jeg lagt meg til veldig fornuftige tider, men da har jeg også en tendens til å våkne veldig tidlig også. Har ikke noe imot det-- det forlenger tross alt dagene mine. Ses om et par dager. 

the truth is; I am a toy that people enjoy 'til all of the tricks don't work anymore

This gal and I was reunited today. It seems strange that it's a year ago now, when we spent most of the hours of a day together. We sat down and talked about things in general, but also about life. Kiwi and I share a lot of experiences together, and we spent about two weeks in Bali, pondering about life. I can always imagine us sitting inside Sage, with our bare feet. We'd eat cake and talk about life in depth, which is the way it should be. (Had to go back to read my diary from Bali, and I'm just so happy I wrote a diary). Now when we meet up, we always seem to end up talking about life. We get each other when it comes to a few important things in life, which makes it easy to talk about it. It's just natural for us, I guess. We finished all of our errands, and then we just wandered around the mall. I picked up a package, and bought chokers (for the 90's party). Six hours after I stepped inside the mall, we left. I said my goodbyes to Kiwi at the busstop, walked home in the wind. I wanted to spend the evening packing, because I need to be at the mall pretty early tomorrow to meet a person. Whenever I do pack, I always try to do it a few days before I need to travel. That way I have a day(s) extra in case I need to stop by the store to pick up something. I'm too lazy to do it now though, but then again, I don't think I'll need to pick up anything either. I started watching Sherlock Holmes the other day. The BBC version with Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman of course. I'm saying that because I can't stand Robert Downey Jr. as Sherlock-- or anyone really. Kiwi was surprised to hear that I was watching Sherlock Holmes, but I disagreed. I do enjoy watching Midsomer Murders, which is similar in solving crimes. That being said, Sherlock is pretty different to Mr. Barnaby. I am not enjoying Sherlock Holmes as much as Stranger Things, not at all. But it's better than waiting for either Teen Wolf or Stranger Things. 

why do you tell me, "come over, " to watch you just stare at your phone?

I'm trying to figure out a 90's inspired look out of my closet (for a 90's party). Shouldn't be that hard, considering every store seem to be inspired by the 90's nowadays. It should mean that my closet contains a percentage of clothing in which is inspired by the time-period. I'll have to have a think. In a few days I'm leaving for a wetter climate, which makes it kinda hard to pack. Also, my activities seem to be pretty varied, and they're not all done and dusted. So it means I have to pack for a lot of occasions in my carry on. At least it'll be a challenge, which is nice when packing becomes dull. I've recently realised that I pretty much hate everything about flying, apart from the actual flying. There's the waking up in time for the flight, hoping that you'll be at the airport at time, going through security (it's so stressful with everyone trying to hurry in the line), waiting for the plane. So yes, I've decided that I don't actually enjoy flying for that reason. That being said, I'm going to have to order plane tickets to Lynx pretty soon, seeing as she's about to pop. Time is moving really fast, and in just two months the wedding is around the corner too. It makes me a little bit stressed, but what is life without stress? I was planning to stop by the post office today, but I changed my plans due to the horrible weather. I hate it when it's cold, windy and raining. I've just put in an order for some comfy period-pants as I'd like to call them. I'm kinda sure I've just had my period, but I have years of periods to come, so why not be as comfy as possible? I think it's the last day of my period, but I'm deffo craving some crisps. I'm starting Monday with a bang in other words. 

there's blood on my hands, and my lips aren’t clean

Today has been a usual Sunday in terms of cleaning. I've done a pretty extensive clean, gotten rid of a lot of dust. I found a box of old papers in my old bedroom, so I sorted through them (some of them were ten years old) and threw out most of it. I did a lot of great notes when in school, but most of them are on my computer anyway. And though I threw away quite a few great notes that I don't have on my computer, I still haven't looked at these notes in years before now. So why keep them if you're not going to use them? I'll keep things that I know will be useful, but throw away most things that can be useful. Because those things that can be useful, are most likely to sit and collect dust. Pictured above is my everyday toiletries that I organised in this organisator the other day. To the left I've got my facemask (Origins Drink Up 10 Minute mask), scrubs (Origins GinZing refreshing scrub cleanser and Garnier Pure Active 3-in-1), facemask and cotton pads. In the drawer, this compartment is the furthest from my reach, because I don't use these products daily. The middle compartment on the upper side in this picture contains my eye creams (Origins GinZing refreshing eye cream, Body Shop Aloe Vera Eye Defense and Kiehl's Midnight recovery eye cream). The upper compartment on the left side contains mostly teeth-related things as my tooth brush, but also a comb for eyelashes? I've never quite understood what the tool is for, but I use it as a comb for my eyebrows. The lower, left compartment contains a mix of face products (La Roche-Posay Effaclar Duo, The Ordinary natural moisturizing factors + HA, Kiehl's Midnight recovery concentrate, Origins GinZing Energy-boosting moisturizer and The Ordinary Hyaluronic Acid 2% + B5). Some of these products are my staples, but a lot of them I'm testing out. I finished Stranger Things yesterday-- I was hooked like reading a good book. I do really enjoy science fiction when it's done right, and I truly enjoyed this take on it. The series reminded me of E.T. and Super 8, both of which are directed by Steven Spielberg. I did read later on that they were inspired by Spielberg. The character "Nancy" was also an uncanny reminder of "Alison Argent" from Teen Wolf. I think their character development is pretty much the same. But you know, all of this is just factoring in on my liking of the show. It's just sad that I have to wait months for the next season. But then again, I hope they're taking time to make a second season which is as good, if not better than first. I've got to eat some lunch now, and then I hope I have a good work-out session later on tonight. I've been slacking, and I even bought a bag of crisps yesterday. Not good, but also, yum. 

maybe that's why I'm at your window, hear me at your door

More shoes? Yes. Admittedly, these will probably be the last pair in a while. I've been wanting a higher boot for a long time, something for dressier occasions. I usually just go with my leather boots. They give me a bit of height whilst staying fairly comfortable. The only time they've given me a blister, is when I walked a whole day around in London. Although I love my leather boots, I wanted to add something slightly fiercer, if you will. I love the details of the shoes, and though I can already tell these won't be half as comfortable as my other beloved boots, I'm still happy with the purchase. Speaking of new shoes. I wore my Vans out for their first trip today. I did kinda expect them to give me a blister, but they didn't. I think it's mostly because I didn't wear them for that long. However, I am really happy with them. Also, just the act of wearing sneakers along with the warming sun gave me a bout of spring-feelings. I really can't wait for the spring to come around. I've certainly been shopping like the spring is just around the corner. My super-pale legs and I are excited. I've bought a load of my favourite things to eat, so I'm like joyous walking around and thinking "what to eat now?". I even found a book to read for this month. It's a dystopian YA novel, which doesn't exactly sound like my thing. But then again, I quite enjoyed Cecelia Ahern's YA novel, and I'm pretty sure that was dystopian. I'm going to give it a go and see. I've only just decided to start watching Stranger Things whilst I was eating lunch. Initially, I was waiting to see the series after Teen Wolf has finished, but I don't know how long I'll have to wait for s6b starts. So far Stranger Things is intriguing, although I thought they were trying to give me a heart attack for one moment. I need to finish a fan fiction I started first. Then I'll continue watching ST. 

oh fantasy take me over and break me

For ett år siden i dag, dro jeg på min største reise hittil (utenom metaforiske reiser, som livet). Det må være en av de største og mest givende erfaringene jeg har opplevd. Det kjennes ikke ut som det er et helt år siden. Jeg tror ikke det hjelper så mye med at to av de jeg reiste med fortsatt er ute og farter på den andre siden av kloden. Minnet om å komme tilbake fra turen sitter fortsatt ferskt i hodet. Husker så godt at jeg hadde vært borte i to måneder, hadde sett og lært så mye. Også kom jeg hjem til en verden som var uforandret fra den jeg forlot. Jeg skulle mer enn gjerne gått igjennom akkurat den samme opplevelsen igjen-- til tross for alle nedturer, så var oppturene verdt det. Jeg har ikke tenkt særlig på en ny opplevelsesreise slik som denne-- jeg ble så utrolig sliten. Å reise er liksom ikke å ha feriemodus, og spesielt ikke den reisen vi dro på. En dag i fremtiden så begynner en opplevelsesreise sikkert å friste igjen, men akkurat nå har jeg det greit uten. Jeg er ganske emosjonell i dag (satt og så på en Aurora-konsert, også begynte jeg nesten å grine for jeg syntes hun sang så fint). Kroppen er sliten, og gårsdagen gjorde at jeg følte meg så utrolig mentalt sliten. Det er slitsomt å kjenne på at du ikke strekker til. Sov ikke så lenge som jeg hadde håpet på, men finværet i dag gjorde det greit likevel. Humøret har egentlig vært på topp, og jeg har faktisk vært produktiv med dagen min. Har endelig organisert skapet med toalettsakene mine på en ren og hygienisk måte. Glemte å kjøpe med meg sjokolade til i morgen, men kjøpte Coco pops, så det er vel greit. Nå skal jeg lage middag, for jeg er suuuulten. Mistet matlysten på onsdagen, og det var faktisk ganske fælt. Det er sjeldent at jeg blir "syk" nok til å miste matlysten. Nei, i dag skal jeg spise mat! 

I love the way you hang with no fools

I've binge-watched Project Runway s8 this time, and somehow it seemed far more dramatic than the previous. Also a lot more emotional. I actually ended up crying quite a bit, but I suspect that's part PMS, part me being sick of sniffling. I woke up this morning, well rested, with bloody spit. It's possible I've bit myself somehow. My nose is red, and cracked. I'm hoping this bout of little cold or whatever it is will disappear soon. I would loathe to bring it with me when I go travelling. Also, it's really annoying to be blowing your nose whilst having a conversation with your co-worker. It turn's out I've booked the flight for the same weekend that my belieber friend and Darren is hosting a party. It'll be sad to miss out on, because I've been looking forward to their housewarming party forever. However, it's possible you'll find me at another (birthday) party with Ale, or in the mountains with Monchita. So I can't really complain. I've been really moody today, and although I was planning to exercise today, it's literally the last thing I want to do. I might even go grab some ice cream pronto. I truly am a picture perfect stereotype for a woman experiencing PMS. But as it is, premenstrual symptoms is a real deal, and it comes with being able to birth a human being. If you ask me whether or not I'd like to be a guy, I'll sometimes say yes. But it's always for a limited time, never forever. I am glad to see this world through my eyes, my gender-- I think despite all of the bumps in the roads we have to go through purely because of our gender, makes us so much stronger. Happy international women's day! I am going to step back from reality shows and the drama now (unless it's more like British Bake-off). You'll possibly find me with a tub of ice cream in my bed reading fan fiction. Or, well, I'd never eat in my bed like that. But you know, it paints the picture of how I am feeling at the mo. 

how did I know what you're thinking, maybe I thought it before

And then there were new shoes. I've been thinking of purchasing new casual shoes for awhile. My black Converse are old and battered. They'll still be used, I'm sure. However, I wanted to give Vans a go this time around. I've never tried the brand before, and I really enjoy the look of the old school ones. I went to try them on in store, seeing as I hadn't tried shoes by them before. Sizing does vary between brands, I find. And it's such a disappointment to order shoes home, only to find that the sizing is incorrect. As it's still snow outside, these shoes will have to wait for awhile. Regardless, I'm stoked. I also bought myself new bedsheet-- the things I treat myself with, huh. I've spent a bit of money today, considering I also bought plane tickets to visit Ale and Monchita in a week and something. I finished watching PR s7 today, and I've genuinely forgotten about the winner, so it was nerve wrecking to watch. It's kinda fun to have fallen back into PR, because I was really attentive to details to clothing when I was in the mall today. I had to stop by the grocery store today, didn't have any choice. It's been really windy today, like really cold wind. And then my nose has been running like a waterfall, sometimes I'd just bend my head a bit, and my nose would run like I opened a faucet. In addition to a runny nose, I just feel a bit off. It almost feels like my period is starting, but that would be too early. And it's never early. However, I do know my PMS is about to start, so maybe it's just that. Regardless, all of these factors together made me want to just lie in bed today, and not get out of the house. But since it was unavoidable, I pushed myself out the door. And I ended up with shoes amongst all of the things. I've got work tomorrow morning, which I'm dreading. Both because I'm sure it'll be busy, but also because it's going to be hella cold tomorrow. I feel like I've worked a lot more lately, so I've consciously decided to work less this week. I've just updated myself with a bit of One Direction. In just a bit, Liam will be the second dad in the group, which is kinda crazy. Hopefully he'll take to it well, and hopefully they'll be just as good at keeping the baby out of the media, as they've done with the pregnancy. I'm saying that because Louis has been a lot in the limelight, a lot of it because the mother of the baby has chosen to. Apparently Louis and Eleanor has gotten back together, which makes me genuinely happy. I've always though of them as a better version of Rachel and Ross. Recently they were involved in some drama at the airport, and Louis was supposedly put in jail due to attacking a pap? I've watched the video where the pap falls over (can't really see him getting hit by Louis, but he does kinda get tripped over by him), and where Eleanor is attacked by some girl. It's all pretty gob smacking, and I'm not rushing to defend Louis for doing what he does. However, I would without doubt be plenty aggravated if a pap would get really close to my partner, taking pictures of them, when you're asking for them to not do it. Especially considering Eleanor isn't even a public person. And then she gets attacked by a girl. What the everloving fuck is going on with the world. Louis then goes to remove the girl off of Eleanor, and then the security is separating all three of them. Both Louis and the girl ends up on the floor-ish, and now the girl is supposedly pressing charges. I don't know. I just know that I would probably have reacted similarly to Louis. I hope they're all okay. Harry I've no idea where is, or what he's up to. I've heard that he's working on his solo music, but I've not seen any evidence of it, so I'm not sure if it's just rumours. Niall, I see on Snapchat quite frequently, and it weirds me out seeing his Snapchat stories. He's always been "Niall Horan" to me, but seeing him snapping his outfits now and then, when he's out with his pals, his food. It's all so normal, it feels like watching a friend's Snapchat story. It makes him more of a real person to me. I am looking forward to them actually publishing their music. I'm hoping for Niall to do a somewhat intimate tour. It's been ages since I've been to a concert, so I'm kinda itching to see someone live soon. 

la mæ reager, vekk mæ te liv

Initially, I saw this bag in red, and it was beautiful. It looked great against my navy-coloured coat. However, I decided to pick up this metallic one, which I find is more wearable. Regardless of how inexpensive things are, I just cannot get myself to purchase something I know I won't wear as much. It just seems like such a waste to me. I woke up this morning, having to sneeze twice. I am feeling quite congested, which is really annoying. I'm trying to drink a lot of tea and water, and hopefully I'll be healed that way. I spent yesterday watching the cross country skiing, which was a win. And then my brother came for a visit. Each of us had a convo with Volla via my phone, so I was stuck watching television instead of reading on my phone. Later in the evening, I played IconPopSongs on my phone. It's a game I downloaded the same time as Mahjong, because it's the only game I had before I lost my old phone. It's a game where you have to guess the song or artist by listening to an acoustic guitar. Sadly, I've become really bad at it, and now I'm stuck at a song. It's really annoying. I've cleaned my bedroom, and somehow decided to re-open my Netflix-account. I've been watching Project Runway, season seven. I used to watch PR all the time back in the days, and it would really inspire me. Somewhere along the way, I stopped watching it, along with most of television really. However, as I had all the time of the world today, I decided to re-watch. I've actually followed this season before, but it's years ago. Per date, PR is actually at season fifteen. It's crazy. I managed to pause PR, and do some exercise. I've not done any exercise since the skiing trip last weekend, so it was long coming. I've just not made time for any exercise this week until now. I spoke with Ale whilst making a late evening snack, and I've half-way decided to visit Monchita and Ale in a few weeks. It's been on my mind for a month or so, but sometimes it takes time for me to sit down and make a decision. I make vague plans, my life is all very fluid. And for now I find that very enjoyable. 

it's hard to dance with the devil on your back, so shake him off

In addition to new jeans this week, I also got a pair of pleated culottes. One of those which was in every store last year. I've wanted ones since Kiwi and I were travelling really. I like to think it's because of a mix of the comfortable travelling style, but because I was inspired by the really fashionable girls in Singapore. I did get a pair of culottes from Bershka whilst travelling-- they're striped and elegant ones. But I never got around to buying one of those pleated ones. I'm excited for the spring to set in, so I can wear both pair of trousers with something else than winterboots. As of today it's snowing again. The weather is literally going "hot 'n cold", which is highly annoying. Wedding invitations from my sister arrived yesterday, "fashionably late". It's all a reminder that spring is around the corner. I've slept in this morning, done a load of wash (clothing), vacuumed upstairs. It's all things I've been thinking of doing this week, but not had the time for. Oh, and I've also already had a bar of chocolate. I've not exercised since going skiing the other week, so it's probably something I should consider today. I don't think I'll want to do it though, which is fine, because I will do it tomorrow anyway. I'll probably relax, watch cross country skiing, and maybe do a few more things I've not had time to do this week. (Also maybe put in an order on shoes, because I've been itching to buy some). 

Go on, fill your heart up with gladness. Not a moment too soon

Jeg føler jeg knapt har vært hjemme denne uken, og på mange vis stemmer det jo. På onsdagen spiste jeg burger med ekteparet. Jeg hadde most avokado på burgeren, hvilket er en av ingrediensene på den burgeren jeg har satt på førsteplass (det er nok ikke en verdig førsteplass, da denne burgeren ble nærmest inhalert etter en lang fjelltur). Så denne burgeren jeg spiste nå har kanskje sneket seg opp på andreplass. Usikker. Jeg var innom Weekday for å se på bukser før jeg møtte min belieber friend, og jeg dro med meg en haug inn på prøverommet. Reiste fra butikken med et par lyse dongerijeans. Jeg kan antakeligvis telle på èn hånd hvor mange ganger jeg har brukt lyse jeans i fjor. Det er ganske sjeldent, i og med at jeg ikke synes de passer meg særlig. Men nå! Nå fant jeg et par fantastiske fra Weekday. Adjø til Cheap Monday, og hei til Weekday's egne jeans. Vi måtte løpe etter bussen, og mens vi løp bestemte mini-vesken min å bli ødelagt. Typisk. Vi tok oss en tur innom Mathallen etter middag, noe jeg mistenker er for at min belieber friend kunne se på pai. Darren kjørte oss hjem til ekteparet, og vi ble sittende i sofaen i noen timer. Omsider ble det såpass sent at jeg dro på meg ytterjakka og gikk mot t-banen. Klokken var 22.15 kanskje, og jeg stoppet innom matbutikken for å kjøpe egg og brød. Mon tro om kassafolk lager historier i hodet om kundene sine. Jeg var tydeligvis trøtt, for jeg trodde jeg hadde gått på feil t-bane, så jeg gikk rundt og surret inne på Tøyen t-bane stasjon, før jeg fant ut av at jeg hadde vært på riktig t-bane. I dag våknet jeg tidligere enn planlagt, men drøyet å forlate sengen. Jeg "broke the fast" med toastet brødskiver med most avokado, deretter egg, også kaviar på topp. Ble stappmett, også gjorde jeg meg klar til å forlate huset. Dro inn til byen for å gjøre litt shopping. Kjøpte meg en ny versjon av mini-vesken min, i tillegg til en hakket større mini-veske. Jeg er definitivt hektet på mini-vesker. Prøvde på et par lignende bukser som jeg kjøpte fra Weekday, men innså at de fra Weekday passer meg mye bedre. Klokken begynte å nærme seg 14.30, så jeg gikk mot jernbanetorget for å ta trikken til en del av byen jeg aldri har vært før. Jeg fant frem til restauranten, hvor både ansatte og kunder pratet italiensk? Jeg fikk hvertfall sjokk, og sendte en melding til Oyster som nevnte ordet "legit". Etter en liten stund, kom Oyster inn døren, og vi bestilte oss empanadas. Empanadas var hovedgrunnen til at vi dro dit, og det var dessverre skuffende. Tror det er vanskelig å skulle finne noen som kan konkurrere med empanadas fra Clasico Argentino. Det var uansett verdt et forsøk. Vi ble sittende i tre timer for å "catche up", før vi betalte for oss og reiste hjemover. Jeg har vært lite hjemme, men også lite alene denne uken. Og jeg kjenner på det at jeg trenger litt pause fra mennesker, hvilket gjør det fint at jeg har fri denne helgen.