those will be the days that I will be missing when I’m older, when I’m gray and when I’ll stop working

I spent about five minutes staring at a picture of Harry Styles after I finished writing yesterdays blogpost. It's actually completely true, not even a hint of exaggeration. I ended up going to bed at 3:30 am, after watching several episodes of Criminal Minds. And heh, I was lucky enough to wake up at 8:30 am because of my nephews scream. I was not very happy to be earnest. Mostly because I knew I had to babysit my nephew today when the others went to the Greenday concert. And it's not very enticing to babysit whilst you are halfway dead to the world. My brother and mum were at home, but basically off to do whatever they usually do. So I was in charge of my nephew, and I could feel my inner nurse releasing. Basically measuring every thing my nephew eats and drinks and poops and how he's sleeping. Oh god, I become so paranoid when he's sleeping. Whereas most people feel content when the baby caller is completely silent, I freak out. Crib death is my biggest fear, and my nephew have a tendency to not lie on his back whilst sleeping. Actually, I found him in the weirdest position yesterday, and I cannot even describe it with words. Anyway, my nephew is one of my most favorite people in this world. He likes 80's music (he started dancing when I was listening to that channel that usually plays 80's and 90's music). And he likes Bastille (he started shaking his bum when Pompeii started playing, and he dragged me to dance with him). And he is so smart sometimes. Before I put him to bed earlier today, his mum (my sister) called to say goodnight. And he actually understands everything. And he might be the weirdest person I know-- although he's a toddler, so maybe he's got the right to be odd. I used to think that I would start disliking him at the age of two (well, technically he's only 20 months), because that's usually when they become bratty and starts crying in order to get what they want. But he's pretty cool. I'm currently watching footage from Glastonbury Festival 2013. And it's Mumford & Sons! The last couple of days I've been listening to Kodaline's album, and it's giving me "old Coldplay" vibes mixed with something I can't quite put my finger on. Nevertheless, I think In A Perfect World is fantastic. I'm going to bed a bit earlier today, so I can be on top tomorrow. Apparently my sister and co isn't leaving until late, so we might head to the mall. Before I go though: One Direction. Can I sing Hate That I Love You by Rihanna and Ne-Yo? Gaah, they're just too precious. Especially these gifs. Yes, Niall has actually starting exercising. There's this quote by Liam saying that he'd gone to the gym. And Liam and Niall share the same trainer, so the trainer had asked Liam "Have you seen Niall? He's only been here once". But I suspect he's mostly started exercising because of his wonky knee. And oh god, if you were a proper One Direction maniac, you'd know that Harry has the worst jokes. At the concert yesterday.. or the day before that(?) he wore a horse mask, and he said "I don’t think I can sing anymore I feel a bit horse".  But it's so bloody endearing too. The tour brings out so many bromances, it's a bit dizzying. It's like heaven to me, but still the worst thing to happen ever. I keep sighing loudly and banging my forehead in my keyboard. Oh well, right, I'm actually going to bed now. No more excuses.

maybe live long or maybe die young, or maybe live every day like it's your last day under the sun

I think the darkness triggers things in people. You become different, perhaps more open. Maybe it's because the world is asleep, and therefore it's not really life. It's like whatever you say or do during the night is erased in the morning. It isn't really, but it feels like it. The darkness brings me thoughts. Thoughts that I usually run away from during the daylight. Extensional thoughts that scares the shit out of me. Not the meaning of life and similar questions. But about subjects like people that doesn't really feel like they are alive, but just exists. How human race feel superior to any living species. How we manage to destroy anything we touch. Isn't it funny? How we try to find a cure to so many diseases? Diseases that destroy people. Who is going to find a cure against human race? Yeah-- this is why I don't like the darkness sometimes. Because this could easily have been the mindset of a mass murderer. The difference is that I believe in goodness-- that I have faith in people and human race. And that I don't believe humans intend to destroy. We're just too stupid. Uneducated. It's weird that we spend so much time studying, and yet we cannot learn to appreciate the nature and life in general. If I were to show you a blank paper right now-- imagine it. Imagine I'm sitting beside you wherever you are, and I show you a blank paper. And I ask you: what do you see? What would you answer? Think about it. I should go to sleep, forget about this. Except this piece of writing on the gigantic inter-web will be a reminder in the morning. These thoughts will not be erased. It's funny, because would you think that a person that loves One Direction so dearly would walk around with these kinds of thoughts in their heads? That's how I remind myself that I cannot judge people with a little piece of information. Have you thought about the blank paper now? Did you think nothing? Or did you think "a blank paper"? Or hey, maybe you came to the conclusion "a dead tree". There's no correct answer here, don't fret. I must go now, but I'll leave you with this fantastic poem I read not long ago (source here).

isn’t it ironic
how we kill
flowers
because we
think that
they are
beautiful 

I know that a love like this won't last forever

Arrrrrg, I have this melody and a faint remembrance of some lyrics stuck in my head. It's so bloody annoying. And I can't listen to any music until I find out which song it is. Well, sure I could, but I just really want to know which song it is. It's on the tip of my tongue. Oh god, I even asked my younger sister. OH MY GOD!!! It's To Be With You by Mr. Big. Searching "feel it too lyrics" on Google did little to help, but apparently it did on Youtube. Alright, back to actual blogging. If watching countless music videos on the telly counts as watching TV, then I have spent a big amount of watching TV today. I woke up at 8:30 am in order to start the cleaning. Except, when I wandered downstairs I poured myself a cup of tea and started reading a fan fiction. I've been postponing cleaning for ages. But after finishing reading the fan fiction, which was really really sweet by the way (I shed a lone tear), I got off my arse and started the long process. Thing is that my family are champions in soiling, but not cleaning. And whenever I clean, I tend to get really detailed. I become a bit of Monica about it. I'll have to remove dust and sort everything out. Except, I can't because it's not all my stuff, and whenever I do sort papers and whatnot, my family always come nagging about me throwing important stuff away. So I've stopped doing that, and every time I look at the mess, I think "I really really want to move out". Anyway, had to take a break in order to eat some breakfast. Sometimes I'm stupid enough to wait until I'm starving before I eat something. It's not something I suggest. But once I get caught up in something, it's like I cannot do anything else until I'm finished. So I was absolutely famished. And yes, I've been watching TV all day-- firstly MTV Live HD. My belieber friend has told me to watch this channel multiple times, but I've never taken time to actually sit down and watch the telly. But I figured since I was alone I might as well use that opportunity to watch telly with a high volume without anyone complaining. But then it got a bit boring, because there were none actual live sessions. I did watch MTV Live HD yesterday, and I watched Little Mix and Stooshe. The latter have such a funny name! I'm going to start saying it just to be annoying. Anyway, because there were none live sessions, I changed till' VH1? Or some channel that was broadcasting 90's music. And oh my god, you should definitely watch the music video to Lift Me Up by Geri Halliwell. It's one of the most hilarious things I've seen. And did you know that Bryan Adams and Mel C had a collaboration? And yet again, I do get a bit surprised whenever I recognize songs. Does anyone remember I Love You Always Forever by Donna Lewis? Well, apparently I do. And I've been pondering about why I do know all these songs, and I've decided that it's because of all the movies I've watched throughout the times. When I was younger I used to watch a movie probably each night, because I had my own telly in my bedroom. It's probably why I know a lot of stupid and unimportant things. Wait-- does anyone remember I'll Be Missing You by Puff Daddy and Faith Evans? I'm on a roll. I'm just going to listen to old music all day. Thing is, I sort of finished reading a sort of good fan fiction yesterday that mentioned Wouldn't It Be Nice by Beach Boys. And then I listened to it on Youtube, and whenever a video stops playing there are more suggestions, yeah? So next I listened to Lollipop by the Chordettes, Staying Alive by Bee Gees, Stand By Me by the Drifters and My Girl by The Temptations. The latter is one of my absolute favorites because of the movie My Girl. If you've not seen it, you definitely should! Okay one last song. Ready or Not by The Fugees-- did you know it was released in 1996? I thought it was more recent, something from the 00's. It's The Fugees that sings Killing Me Softly With His Song. You'll probably know the song if you've watched About A Boy. You see what I mean about my music knowledge existing because of movies? Anyway, I found my Youtube soulmates yesterday. Alright, maybe not soulmates, but close. They like furniture, design and thrift shopping(!). I spent two hours (less or more) watching their vlogs yesterday, opting to not watch my regular favorites. I'm going to catch up with the ones I ignored yesterday. But first a bit of One Direction: Narry is sunshine and weirdness. You know what's funny? Most of the times it's the lads in One Direction that inspires the fan fictions. We got what? Ballroom dancing from Niall and Harry last week? And now it's like loads of dancing fictions with Narry as a pairing. I just really long for a 50k word Narry fan fiction. Or a 100k word one-- god, that would have been heaven. You know how I love harmonies? Well, yesterday there was this other version of Kiss You by One Direction on Tumblr. An extended version, if you will. And there were harmonies. HARMONIES. And it was so good. Now I have to go listen to it again. And again. And maybe One Thing acoustic. Harmonies. You know what? I almost had a fit yesterday before I went to bed. Kodaline has released their new album In A Perfect World. But it's not available in the store I usually go to buy music. I fell in love with Kodaline when I first heard All I Want. And the funny thing is that I was just searching around for songs to put in my playlist for Kiwi. That's perhaps my favorite part about life, how accidental things are. I enjoy collecting CD's-- you know, having something to hold onto. I remember my old teacher saying that earlier; in his younger days, everyone used to be excited about the CD cover. It's less important these days, but I wish it still had the same importance today. I mean, I'd still love it to be cassettes, but you know-- technology forces time to go on. I still really want a VCR player though. Anyway, I think Kodaline might be the music for my summer this year. Last summer it was Ed Sheeran and One Direction. I'm really looking forward to Ed Sheeran's new music, but it's been a really long time since he wrote and recorded +, which means the new music might be considerably different. And I'm not quite sure how I'll feel about that. Anyway (how many times do I use this word?), Youtube videos and food. That's my schedule for the rest of the day. 

I keep on hoping that we'll find another reason to compromise

Apaz we have a TV channel that's covering Glasto 2013! That means I'm going to spend a lot of time actually watching TV for a change. That is, if it's not great weather outside. It's times like these that I wish I was mates with Grimmy (Nick Grimshaw, radiohost of the breakfastshow on BBC radio 1) and Cazza (Caroline Flack, tv hostess of The Xtra Factor) and could tag along to the Glastonbury Festival. Honestly, there are so many artists there that I would love to see. But hey, I'm going to watch some of it anyway. If I look outside the window, it looks like a rain storm. It's been like this practically all day. The Internet has been gone most of the day again, but at least we know the reason now. They are changing the cable. So I've played Team Buddies with my sister, and watched Shrek. Shrek is honestly one of the best animation movies. But I don't see how it's meant for kids? Taking the iron supplements today was a bit more difficult; I almost spat it out because I didn't manage to swallow it on first try.. and you know how disgusting it is when the tablet starts dissolving and you can feel the yucky taste. Yeah, that happened and I drank a whole bottle of water. Tomorrow I'm actually going to clean the house. Honestly. Oh god, sometimes I have these dreams or nightmares about having babies. Not giving birth-- I've never dreamed about that. But today I dreamed about finding a baby in a casket outside my door. You know, the typical movie plot. But the baby was so cold and not giving any signs of life, and I had to call an ambulance whilst trying to warm up the baby and look for signs of life. And that's the thing, I keep dreaming about babies on the verge of dying. Honestly, it's horrible. Anyway, I actually have the what-- five second snippet of Best Song Ever on my mind. You know what I did today? I was sitting in my bed and staring rain pouring down outside my window, and praying that I'll stop being obsessed with One Direction. And what did I proceed to do? Continue the One Direction fan fiction I was in the midst of reading. Yeah, way to go. I did watch a video of the lads doing the Harlem Shake onstage from Washington, and well, I just don't understand why I like One Direction so much (okay, so I do, but still). I'm going to catch up on Youtube now, seeing as I've been too busy catching up with everything else. 

if you were with me tonight I'd sing to you just one more time

I’m currently watching my footage from the Justin Bieber and One Direction concerts. I get a bit sentimental when I watch my own footage rather than others, because it feels like being back there all over again. Anyway, I was just watching these videos because it appears that my youngest and eldest sisters are going to the same Greenday concert on Sunday. Well, not together. I came home from the cinemas yesterday, and my mum told me my oldest sister was coming down for the weekend with her family in tag, and that they were only coming to watch the cinema. And I was alright, that’s a bit odd that my sister and her fiancé will be coming to see a bloody film, but I figured it was some sort of important premiere or something. I know her fiancé can be a film (and TV) geek sometimes. And I tried remembering if I’d seen a premiere of an action movie on the weekend when I was scrolling through the internet earlier on. But I couldn't think of anything, and I asked my mum again “the cinema? Are you sure?”. She shrugged and told me to ask my sister, then. So I texted her “are you coming down the weekend in order to watch the cinema?”. And a few minutes later she responded with “The cinema? No, we’re going to the Greenday concert. Can we sleep in the same room I slept in last time?” I laughed, because—a concert. It makes sense to travel so far in order to attend a concert, but you ought to be a super fan of something to travel so far to watch a film premiere. I told my mum it was a concert, not the cinema. And I just find it so funny that my eldest sister and youngest sister are attending the same concert. They are so different, it’s funny. But yeah, my sister is coming down for the weekend, and per usual, I was the last one to know about it. They leave Monday, but my sister is coming back for my birthday apparently. Anyway, I managed to swallow my iron supplement quite easily today—by the end of this I’ll be able to swallow tablets without spitting them out (hopefully). And yes, back to the cinema. Ale and I walked down to the cinema from my house, and we got some time to chat too. And the weather was being nice, except for the wind. And I wore my Boy London jumper for the first time because it’s so warm, and it was actually suitable for the weather. As I stated last night- I had no idea of what Man of Steel was about except for Superman. And I know surprisingly little about Superman, apart from that TV-show that used to air a few years ago. I sort of steer away from action movies when I go to the cinema, which doesn't really make any sense. But there are so many action movies out there, and so many of them are horrible. Yesterday, however, took me by surprise. I actually quite liked the movie. And to be fair, I don’t think I've ever seen a bad movie at the cinemas with Ale? At least I can’t remember. But the movie was just a bit wow. Because I believe there are loads of horrible action movies, there are also a lot of actors I don’t believe in (at least anymore). Upon watching this movie, I was a bit skeptical about the actors, but I was in awe of the acting. Although, I find things overly dramatic sometimes. But to be fair, superhero movies tend to be overly dramatic (except maybe Iron Man, which is a bit more on the funny side). But I loved the pre-Earth story. I loved every bit of foreign technology and ideology. And just the thought of another world, really. It was sight-blowing (see what I did there? Ha-ha I’m so clever). And I loved the quirky humor. I feel like it’s the humor of a superhero-geek, and that makes it even better in my opinion. I will admit though, that there were a few things from the movie that I've already seen in other movies. And I was really pondering over one thing. Why—why does every superhero movie seem to have to have something happening in New York? It’s like: the world is such a big place, and they always choose New York. I just don’t get it. It was nice going to the cinema with Ale. Especially the part where the movie is over and we share our thoughts and opinions. It reminded me of the old days. I've been cautiously avoiding reading any books all day. I had it planned out yesterday that I would spend the day cleaning. Except, I only like cleaning when I’m alone, and there’s no one else to bother me. But I woke up far too late for being undisturbed. The reason why I've not read any books, is because I don’t like to force myself to read anything. It’s sort of stupid how I only have this sudden urge to read a specific book when I’m busy with school and grown-up things. And now as I've got days off I’m looking at all the books I want to read stacked up in front of me. Instead of reading books, I've been rereading a few fan fictions. And you know how One Direction reminds me of my friends? Well, that’s sort of why I enjoy reading One Direction fan fictions so much. They make me smile and think of my amigos. It’s odd, because you can never tell when something significant happens. When you meet a person, you don’t think “hey, this person will be very important in my life. I must remember this day”. I think Kiwi said exactly that not long ago. I don’t remember how I met any of my friends, except maybe Oyster. But that was when I was younger, and it was usual to start a friendship by asking to be friends. Nowadays when you’re older, those things happen naturally. So you don’t know whether that person you meet at Friday night will become one of your bestest mates. I'm going to clean up all my clothes I've carelessly tossed on my bed and read a 60k word fan fiction now. Good night to all. 

we dance all night to the best song ever

The Internet has been out most of the day. So when I came on Twitter just minutes ago, there were so many things going on at the same time. One Direction are releasing a new single. In like, I don't even know. And it's called "Best Song Ever" which is the worst name ever. And they released a new trailer for the movie. And I've only watched it once, but my heart rate noticeably increased. And I'm just so so overwhelmed. It's just so much in three minutes. Erm, I wonder how I'm going to react to actually watching the movie. If this is how I feel about three minutes, then I don't know. Oh my god, what if I start crying? I can't believe that I've let myself go this far. Like, I'm afraid to go on Tumblr now, because I know it's probably already exploded with updates. And that's not even all. Jonas Brothers have released a new single as well. I'm just asdsghkskfsbnegnkskgsdfh. Oh god, I went on Tumblr. And someone posted a hilarious post dedicated to One Direction's talent of naming things (perfume, tours, songs, etc)

next one direction album tracklist (tenatively titled ‘we are here’)

1. best song ever
2. massive thank you
3. greatest fans in the world
4. [niall laughing]
5. the unwanted (writing credits list louis, liam, and zayn)
6. we’ve had like three world tours how cool is this
7. we love our fans
8. mommy i miss you

liam james payne

On Friday Liam had a bit of a quarrel with a few fans. Basically, Liam tweeted: "Whoever is ringing our rooms please stop it's not funny ur pissing everyone off", and then "Next time it's ur day off school nd u fancy a ly in il call u n see how u like it?". Then he might have regretted his last statement a bit, but nevertheless, he didn't back down from his point: "Why? I'm sorry for being mad but I do t get to sleep all that often cuz we travel every day the one day I don't have to travel ..." And well, maybe it's not the best way to articulate a complaint. And he's obviously trying to get his point forward. And then sort of apologize and still complain in the same tweet. And you know what? I think they are all entitled to complain. And I think it's bullshit to say "you don't have the right to complain, look at all you have" or "you're a public person, and you must deal with it". It's bullshit to say that to any celebrity if it's about vital needs like sleep. I mean, christ, let them at least rest so they can be 100% on the concert which is for you. Actually, I think the whole thing about where we make celebrities to non-people where we are free to talk about them behind their backs and throwing shit and rumors out there-- I find that ridiculous. I just can't believe humanity sometimes. A girl called him a brat because of his complaints, and he tweeted back at her, defending himself. Which, again, I don't understand why so many have problems with celebrities defending themselves? It's absolutely allowed. And as long as it's valid arguments, I'm going to stay at their side. I mean, would you not defend yourself in a fight? Course you don't have to fight back, as in attacking the other person. But you're completely right to defend yourself. I think he ended his tweets that day with "Lol thanks to everyone who now hates me sorry for being honest". Sometimes he let's his anger run, and he doesn't think of consequences and he forgets to be "the sensible". He's just human. Sometimes he will let his anger get the best of him. And that's okay. Would you rather like to think of Liam Payne as a cheery puppy 24/7 or do you want to know the @Real_Liam_Payne? Not everything can be an American Hollywood movie with a happy ending all the time. I'm pretty sure One Direction claimed from the start that they weren't trying to be perfect, but themselves. And I think that's why they don't get hassled with every bad decision they do either. They aren't trying to be perfect, as the Disney people often are forced to act as. It would not have been Liam Payne without a proper apology. Of course he writes a long apology addressing his angry tweets, and him being thankful for everything. It's like an official apology to every fan he's ever offended. When I was a super fan of Jonas Brothers I had this very high opinion of them. I put them on a pedestal, and they were perfect in my eyes. But I remember the whole scandal about Joe breaking up with Taylor, and it put them in a different light to me- I felt like the brothers I knew were completely different. And I felt so disappointed, because they were supposed to be perfect. And I think that's when I realised how silly I was being. How stupid it is to believe that anyone could possibly avoid making any mistakes. And when I think of One Direction, I think of a few teenage lads living their life and growing up in the spotlight. Forced to be wise and smart in situations where they'd rather be silly and immature. You might wonder why on earth I'm up at 01:40 to write this, but I came across someone's post on Tumblr that sort of addressed this whole silly Twitter thing, and how Liam doesn't want the fans to hate him. And it nearly made me cry. Liam James Payne might not be a cheery puppy 24/7, but he is most of the time. And this shows it off quite nicely. 

"So I was lucky enough to meet One Direction yesterday.

Now, I could easily spend the next five hours reliving every second of the meet and greet in vivid detail, but I’m not going to bore you like that. Instead, I’m going to talk about the moment that meant the most to me.

Mister Liam Payne.

When we got to the meet and greet, they greeted us and were ready for pictures and everything; but I waited a second and pointed to Liam, he looked at me as if to ask what I wanted, so I asked if I could tackle hug him. He asked for an explanation, I said like running from where I was standing (about 10 feet away) and jumping to hug him. He said yes. Security said no. He won and I did it.

I have never had a hug that was like that genuine. He’s literally a human teddy bear and anyone that says otherwise is wrong. He squeezed me and lifted me up off the ground like a little child or something. When he put me down I told him “That was for yesterday, though.” (I saw him yesterday, so I was referring to the stuff on Friday) He looked at me and tilted his head and asked “Yesterday?” so I felt the need to explain, but since I couldn’t put my thoughts into words, I just said “No one hates you.”

At which point, Liam didn’t even hesitate for a second before he was pulling me back for another hug. He literally lifted me up and spun me around and just… He was so glad to have someone tell him that no one hates him and I don’t know if that warmed my heart or broke it. I think it broke it because Liam is so amazing and no one should ever have to feel like that.

Anyone that genuinely has a rude thing to say about Liam Payne is deluded and ignorant, I’m sorry if that sounds harsh, but it’s true. I have never had a moment that meant that much with any celebrity before and I just… This might have topped my Skrillex and Ed encounters, and anyone who knows me, knows how much I love those moments.

I know you’ll never see this, but I love you Liam, and please remember that no one hates you".

don't ask me how, but ask me where

I was unlucky enough to fall asleep at 1:00 am, then to proceed waking up at 4 .. something am. And I tried falling asleep again. But after tossing around for an hour, I gave up-- on tossing around. Then I decided to see if reading and listening to really slow songs would let me fall asleep again. Yeah, that didn't work out either. When my alarm went off at 7:00 am, I rolled out of my bed grumpily. I sort of miscalculated my time as well, so I ended up running to my bus stop. Not the bus stop right beside my house. No, the one I usually use ten minutes walking to. I was contemplating whether I just should take the next bus, but I was afraid I'd be late. So I actually ran for 3 minutes. And I was there. And I didn't suffer from side stitch either. So I count that as a great accomplishment. I can't decide what I think of hospitals. There's this uncomfortable silence in there, only broken by the sound of footsteps and elevators opening and closing. Patients, visitors and employees are wandering around. And everyone is staring at each other, trying to figure out what's the matter with you. And you never know what people are thinking, never know if they will interpret your smile as something else than a nice gesture. But then there's the new parents walking past me with their babies in car seats ready to go home. And I have this fascination for everything. And if I wasn't afraid of pain, I'd find it fascinating to watch the needle penetrate through the skin and into a vein. Sometimes if I'm brave enough, I'll watch the nurse when she does it to me. But today I couldn't. The needle, or the hypodermic needle, was just too big. The nurse could sense my fear, and told me to look away. Actually, she was a really good nurse. Each time you give blood, you have to take blood tests just to check that your blood is indeed good to go. And I have a bit difficult veins sometimes, and in the past I've had nurses missing my veins multiple times. Resulting in quite strange looking arms (sort of looked like a drug addict to be quite honest). But this one did it at the first go. It's not that I'll complain about having nurses stick needles in my skin multiple times-- I have patience and I'm not actually scared of needles despite what I've written above. But I am scared of pain. And I would probably not have been so happy if the nurse had to stick the hypodermic needle in my arm again, because that one hurt quite a bit more than when you take blood tests. It was rather fascinating to see the bag of blood too, and surprising how much blood they actually draw. Now, you have to weigh a certain amount in order to do this, and I've drunk at least two liters of water today, which is ridiculous, but needed. When I saw the bag of blood it sort of reminded me of vampires. It was just sort of odd, and frightful to see that I've basically taken away something that is very important to my body. I was forbidden to exercise today, and I have to take these iron supplements. And that is possibly the worst aspect of blood donation in my opinion. Not the exercise thing, but taking tablets. I just have a really hard time with taking tablets, and I use like five minutes to mentally prepare myself. And now I have to take them for about three weeks? Oh dear. I didn't feel nauseous whilst giving the blood, which the nurse seemed a bit surprised by. But I did feel a bit dizzy once I got home. So I took my iron supplement and drank about 0,5L water. It's safe to say I've been visiting the loo frequently today. I do, yes, feel it in my arm. I don't quite have the same energy in the arm I drew blood from as the other. And I do feel tired, which lack of iron does to you. But I had expected that already. The weather is going bonkers. It was absolutely pouring down with rain today. And then it's been alternating with overcast and the blue sky peeking out once every while. I sort of wish it would have been pouring rain in the same magnitude at the concert on Friday as it did today. I'm going to grab something to feed my empty stomach now, and then I'm going to the cinema with Ale later. We're watching Man of Steel, and I've got absolutely no expectations to it. Nada. I only know it's a Superman movie that Ale has been itching to watch. Also, I think I'm a bit infatuated with Lykke Li's music. 

I'm just a silhouette, a lifeless face that you'll soon forget

Is it possible to force tears to back? I'm listening to Daughter, which is a very bad decision. She never fails to make me sad. But I was reading a fan fiction where the author had been listening to Daughter whilst writing the piece. And I love listening to songs that have inspired a piece. It's strange though, I can recognize Daughter's voice anywhere. And it seems like every playlist on 8tracks have at least one song of her (at least the ones I listen to). She makes my days grey in the most positive way (erm, did that rhyme?). I finally managed to finish watching the Les Miserables 25th anniversary concert yesterday, and I was so surprised by how much I liked it. Alfie Boe as Jean Valjean, Norm Lewis as Javiert, Nick Jonas as Marius and Samantha Barks as Eponine-- absolute class! I "snapped" a video of some bits of the movie to my friends, and the response was not so very positive. Which sort of proves my "One Direction are my friends in disguise" theory that I was talking about in the post before this. One Direction are literally so different, and they should never have been possible. And that's me and my friends too. Maybe the answer is to get new friends though. Because I liked Les Mis so much, I watched it again today. It's made me fall a bit in love with Nick Jonas again. Nick tweeted that he was playing Open Season by High Highs-- I always smile when he tweets a song that I'm already fond of. Makes me think that we're soul mates and meant to be. I'm joking, seriously. He also tweeted Demi Lovato such a sweet tweet: "@ddlovato WE CAN'T STOP THE WORLD, but we can find friends we DON'T FORGET. So blessed our TWO DIFFERENT WORLDS collided. Stay strong." Apparently Demi's father died of cancer. If you were a Demi Lovato fan, you'd know that Nick was using allusion in that tweet-- that Stop The World, Don't Forget and Two Worlds Collide are her songs. Also The Jonas Brothers helped write the two latter songs. I still believe that Demi and Nick are Lucy and Daniel (it's okay if you don't understand what I'm implying here, I wasn't expecting it anyway). Oh dear, wise words from Mr. Hazza Styles: "Never make eye contact with anyone while eating a banana". I mean it too, 'tis wise words. But I'm cackling over the fact that he actually tweeted that, albeit maybe not that surprised considering he's a banana lover. Haz' profile picture on Twitter is my background picture on my phone for the moment. It's so pretty. I'm going to bed early today, because I need to get up quite early tomorrow. I'm giving blood guys! I was accepted as a blood giver perhaps a year after I applied? I'd almost forgotten about it when I received the letter. But it's because I wasn't "cleared" because at the time I had not yet remove the fibroadenoma. Well, I don't know if that's the real reason, but I reckon it is. I was actually awoken by Ale today. She called me at 11:30 am and I croaked a "hello?". I got out of bed, had my breakfast and went for a run in the overcast. It was raining a bit, but it sort of stopped, which made me sad. I quite enjoy running in the rain, except if it's bloody cold, that is. The weather is being really odd, but it wouldn't be Norwegian weather if it wasn't a bit odd. I'm going to eat now, and watch a bit of Harry Potter on the telly with my family. 

in the morning when I wake and the sun is coming through- you fill my lungs with sweetness and you fill my head with you

Now, I didn't actually start off liking One Direction by their music. In fact, their music is (at least it used to be) so far away from my normal taste. I started off liking One Direction for their personalities, and their interaction with each other. In some twisted way, they remind me of myself and my friends. Like there are a lot of characteristics that's the same between the lads in 1D and my friends too. And I love watching One Direction interact because it reminds me of having fun with my own friends. They just make me really happy as people. I think the day I stop being obsessed with them is the day I stop listening to their music. And I don't think that's going to be long until. Except if the new album is just my cup of tea and stuff. But I think I'll always have this fondness for the lads. Can't wait for them to become parents and grow old(er). I love those fan fictions-- somebody write something cool for me to read please. 

I spy with my little eye, to fall is connected to try

Hiya! I think maybe I'm high on life. Yesterday I woke up well rested at 11:30 am, in the same position as I'd gone to bed in. When I go to bed, I usually listen to one last song- the first that comes to mind. Yesterday I listened to two; Only Love by Ben Howard, and then I fell asleep listening to Another Love by Tom Odell. So I woke up with my earplugs in my ear and my phone on my stomach. And my body in the exact same position. I got out of bed and was overwhelmed by the amount of updates on Tumblr and Twitter. So I thought I'd spend quite awhile going through it all, but that didn't happen. Because Marble called me shortly after I'd gone on my computer. She asked me is I was busy, and I answered: "Uhm, no?". So she asked me to tag along to the hair dresser as moral support. And well, I ditched all the things I had planned on doing that morning, and ran to the bus stop in order to join Marble. So basically, I sort of spent all of yesterday with her. We parted ways at 4:00 pm? But we met up again not long after on Jacob Aall with the kilo-gang. I opted for the scampi and avocado salad this time, seeing as I wanted it so badly last time. I must admit though, I was disappointed, because I sort of just wanted loads of avocado-- and there were like close to none. Somebody give me an avocado. Oh my god, dear friends who are celebrating my birthday with me and are readers of this blog, can I have an avocado for my birthday? The weather was very odd yesterday, overcast but incredibly humid- I wore my shorts and t-shirt with my regular jacket and wellies. When we left Jacob Aall, it was pouring down. And Kiwi, Sugar and my belieber friend went home. Marble and I, however, had agreed to attend the bloody concert whatever weather it was. I did write kal ho na ho yesterday. And to be honest, it was rather fun when it started pouring rain. Had I not worn my jacket and my purse with camera, mobile and card in, I would have tossed off my rain poncho and danced in the rain. It's like letting go completely, innit? We were standing by a fence, and we were told we couldn't go further unless we waited in another line that supposedly was bloody long. So we stood where we stood, pleased to have the screen so close, but still able to see the acts. And I've got to say-- I'm surprised over my knowledge of songs. I'll admit that I mostly only remember choruses of a song, but nevertheless- with my memory it shouldn't be possible. But that's maybe what's taking my memory capacity? Lyrics and melodies. Ha-ha. I'm pretty sure I screamed the loudest when Rudimental came on among the crowd we were in, but hey I was excited. I'm just sad they only sang one song. Rudimental was the main reason why I wanted to go, secondly The Wanted. Which is a bit odd, seeing as I don't even listen to their music, apart from Glad You Came sometimes. But they were good live. Actually, all the artists were really good live. Maybe except Jason Derulo. But he's a really great dancer, so he's forgiven. When the concert was over, and I was walking home from my bus stop, I was just really happy and giddy. I was listening to my "run forrest" playlist, and I thought to myself "I love my music taste". I was listening to Lonely Boy by The Black Keyes (listen to it if you haven't!) and I came across this little pool of water due to the heavy rain. And I looked down at my wellies, and thought why not? So I walked through it, and it was a lot deeper than I thought. But hey, it's not often I get to actually use my wellies (and be childish and enjoy the glee of walking through water). When I woke up today I finished re-reading Bare Mamma Er Gud by Line Merethe Nyborg. And then I went downstairs and made pancakes. And now I'm here. Writing. I'm seriously going to finish watching Les Miserables today. And according to my horoscope, I shouldn't make too many plans I'm not going to accomplish, and rather focus on one goal. So yes, that's all I'm going to do today. And eat chocolate. Edit-- I watched a bit of the show on the telly just now, and it turns out that they weren't all that great live? It's really weird, because yesterday they sounded really great. But now I listened to The Wanted, and I don't think they sang the song as great as I thought they sang yesterday. And I've always liked Nathan's part the best, but I think maybe Siva sang the greatest yesterday. I was stupid enough to only record the first part of the concert, but I'm going to see if they've put it on the Internet so I can continue. Found it! I think The Wanted sings Walks Like Rihanna better live than Glad You Came. But maybe that's just me? Oh I loved the last part of the concert yesterday, with fireworks and surprise artists! It was so lovely. Do you see what I mean about having one goal only? I'm supposed to finish watching Les Miserables. Instead I do this. 

darling you're with me forever and always

Today has really been a long day. After I blogged today, I didn't do as I said I would-- I didn't finish the book I was planning on finishing. Nor did I watch Les Miserables. Instead I watched all the episodes of Sweat the Small Stuff (a new comedy panel show on BBC Three) with Nick Grimshaw. It's actually hilarious, and well, I sort of love Grimmy. After that I made a playlist for my running called "run forrest". I know, I've got the best names. It's a mix of old and new and a bit old songs. I've realised that I cannot listen to One Direction (or Jonas Brothers for that sake) while I am exercising. I don't know why, but I just cannot. Maybe I'm trying to not associate them with pain? Ha-ha. When I finally finished the playlist, I went for a run. It was a bit better than the last one, but I've realised that I cannot run in the sun. Basically, I'm like an old computer battery. Just a bit of sun and I'll overheat and die. Not really, but it feels like I could pass out if I kept running in the heat of the sun. And I'm not stupid enough to push it. And any of the "I can do it, just across that line, c'mon"- thoughts are pushed away immediately. The run went better today because the weather was alternating between sun and overcast. After I got home and chugged some water and ate some fruit, I jumped in the shower. And then I went to my sisters graduation ceremony?? I still don't know what to name it. Nevertheless, I met up with an old friend, and we reminisced about when we attended that school. Also, I met my old favorite teacher and had a chat with her. Twice, actually. I'm going to bed early today, because I'm gonna try to end that book tomorrow before I go to Oslo. I'm meeting up with the kilo-gang and a few more. And there's this concert in town, although it's supposed to be pouring down with rain tomorrow. I think I want to watch it anyway, because Rudimental is coming. And The Wanted (!!!) and a few other artists that I'm really excited to see. Although there's little chance to actually see them because of all the people. But hey, kal ho na ho. 

Make yourself some angel wings. And if those angel wings don’t fly, someone’s gonna paint you another sky

I wish I could sleep. Just close my eyes and dab off. Fall asleep with a book on my chest, too tired to keep my eyes open to read the words. Unfortunately it seems that I've become a toddler. If I go to bed late, I have a hard time going to sleep and I tend to wake up earlier. Whereas when I go to bed early, I sleep longer. It's like when you are to put a baby or toddler to bed. Do not put them to bed past their bedtime. It'll only make them cranky and even harder to put to bed. And they'll cry because they're so bloody tired, and through the night they'll sleep less than what they usually do. (Obviously there are exceptions, everyone's different. But it's a rather common thing). I woke up at 5:30 am. Went to bed at 2:00 am. I was just so warm when I startled awake, and I thought it would be enough to go to the loo and empty my bladder and toss my duvet away from my body to battle the heat. I tried so hard to fall asleep again. I have these recurrent dreams I usually think of, which usually makes it easier for me to fall asleep. And I trashed around in bed for about two hours before I gave up. And well, here I am complaining. On the bright side, I was awake when two members of One Direction  were tweeting. (Well, Harry is tweeting now, so three members then?). I'm hoping one of them will do a twitcam soon. I'll be severely disappointed if there's none twitcam at all this year. Yesterday I met up with Marble and Ale, who came home last week. We sat down at Eataly and chatted for awhile, but then the fire alarm went, and everyone had to evacuate the building. This was 30 minutes before closing hours anyway, so we ventured home to myself. We went old school and played Tekken. I say old school because I've not played it since forever. Self-claimed great Tekken-player-- Ale, and the one who never plays anything else than Nintendo 64 or Grand Theft Auto-- me was actually beaten several times of Marble who claimed to never have played the game before. Today I'm going to attend my sisters closing ceremony?? I'm not quite sure what to call it, but she's finished with ten years of school. She guilt tripped me to go, because she said she had attended mine. I don't actually remember anything of the day-- not even what I wore. Anyway, I'm going and I need to find something to wear. I'm also going to try finish reading this book I'm currently reading and watch Les Miserables. Possibly something more, but I've forgotten because I have a lousy memory. Luckily I've written it down on a list. 

she‘ll tear a hole in you, the one you can‘t repair

Oh, okay. One Direction anyone?

You're like twentytwo girls in one, and none of them know what they're running from. Was it just too far to fall for a little paper doll

Thus far today has been one of my favorite days this summer. I woke up at noon completely rested. I did my usual Twitter and Tumblr check, and then I went downstairs to eat some breakfast. I had some yogurt, banana and granola. After watching a few videos of One Direction, I went to a work meeting, which was supposed to last from 2:00-4:00 pm, but it ended at 3:00 pm. I had planned on going to the park with the kilo-gang today, but I figured we wouldn't go before 3:00 pm, but then it turned out they wanted to go at 1:30 pm. And well, I was unsure if they would still be in Oslo after I was done with the meeting, but I called my belieber friend and she confirmed that they were still there. Although not in the park, but at a lunch cafe/bar/restaurant. When I spotted them Kiwi tried to signalize something to me, but I couldn't figure out what she meant. I think maybe I'm not meant to understand Kiwi in this life. Anyway, it turned out that she had wanted me to look behind her, because Kurt Nilsen was sat not so far away. And I think the kilo-gang thinks I am a huge Kurt Nilsen fan, because I urge them to listen to his Christmas record so often. But I think Sugar was a lot more starstruck than me. Or anyone else really. On the other side of us there were all these old ladies drinking either vine or champagne, and I leaned over to Sugar and said that they looked a bit like "The desperate housewife's of Norway", although quite a bit older. After chatting for awhile (and being stupid) we decided to leave because we were hungry and the waitress never seemed to notice us. Actually, I think maybe we're just horrible to signalize that we want something, because waitresses never notices us. Sugar decided to part from us then, because she wanted pizza more than us. Kiwi, my belieber friend and I continued on our search for proper food and settled on Jacob Aall. We all went for burgers. I was torn between a burger and an avocado and scampi salad. Because it's been so long since I last ate a burger in a restaurant. But then I really love avocado, and it's been so long since I last ate that too. In the end I went for the burger, because I was super hungry and wanted something that would satisfy me thoroughly. Kiwi's flatmate joined us after awhile, and we probably sat at Jacob Aall longer than anyone else. After tea and coffee, we walked to the end of Tjuvholmen and took silly pictures and whatnot. I'm afraid I didn't bring my camera, because I hadn't planned on going to Oslo today. But we sat there for probably an hour (more or less). And it was really lovely; just chatting and staring at the sea. It's hard to not be happy at times like these. I'm going to make a summer playlist, and make plans for summer. And decide where to have my birthday celebration. And figure out life. Oh well, perhaps tomorrow, because I need to go to bed now. 

I've got sunshine on a cloudy day

I take it back. I still hate One Direction. I just .... oh my god, it's not faiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiir. Whyyyyyyyyyyyy? Why am I doing this to myself? Why does One Direction exist? Why are there five of them? I don't understand. When did I start loving them? Why did I allow myself that simple pleasure? Anyone got a time machine, eh? It's just.. so many pictures of the lads on a yacht, shirtless. And the pictures of Narry in the pool. And pictures of yesterdays' concert. And Harry tweeting to Niall. And Niall instagramming a picture of Harry for a change. And this picture-- diz iz de bezt picture idea to a meet nd greet ever.. tousand kudos to de girl. It's just too much. Too much to take in at once, and I'm not even done yet.

I'm like so what I'm drunk. It's the freakin weekend baby I'm about to have me some fun

Hello, I'm sorry about the incident of freaking out over One Direction. I don't really hate them, except I do too. I'm just mad at them for making me squeal when I see a new picture of them- And that I scroll through pictures of them whilst brushing my teeth in the bathroom, and my brother happens to stop by me and ask me what the heck I'm doing. (Based on a true happening, and the picture was this picture of Niall on Harry's shoulders. It's so damn pretty, I couldn't help staring at it). Oh god, I did the stupid mistake of going on Tumblr right now. I've been at Oyster's for most of the day; baking and being awful at playing badminton and volleyball. I wasn't actually going to sleep over at hers yesterday, but I ended up doing it anyway. I watched her do her friends' makeup and hair, and it was really exciting. It was kind of looking at a makeup tutorial on Youtube, except live .. in front of me. I think I should probably go buy an extra toothbrush to keep at Oysters. Anyway, she gave me this Boy London jumper because it was too small for her. And to be fair, it's a bit small for my liking. I've sort of gone back into liking everything to be over sized, rather than fitted. A few years ago Oyster also gave me a Black Book singlet, which I've worn to death. So maybe this jumper will get the same affection. We were at the mall yesterday, and just before we went to take the bus, we popped into the music/movie/games (entertainment) store, which I think is my favorite store. And I bought Les Miserables from the 25th anniversary because Nick Jonas plays Marius in it. Obviously I had to buy it. Anyway, back to the point about doing the stupid mistake of going on Tumblr-- since I've not been home as I had originally planned, there's loads of updates I need to scroll through (don't need, but, want). The first thing that hit my face was Liam James Payne in his boxers, or "pants" if you're British. (I take it back Oyster, Liam is not a golden retriever puppy). And then I scrolled downwards to see Louis William Tomlinson shirtless, which is actually rather rare because he's not as fond of showing off his torso. I am using middle names today, because I'm very annoyed with all the lads. I have a feeling I'm going to spend my night ogling at pictures of the lads. Oh well, might as well surrender already. I finished reading The Mystery of Mercy Close by Marian Keyes, but I don't want to give my opinion until I've read it in English. But I can say that I've laughed a lot. Ignition by R Kelly is my new favorite song. Lewis Watson did the shortest cover of the song on Vine (stupid, stupid 6-second long videos), and it was so lovely so I had to go search it up on good ol' Youtube. I keep walking around singing "toot toot, beep beep" on repeat. Oh! I discovered this music quiz app called "Icon Pop Song" exactly two weeks ago. I remember waking up and scrolling through apps, and of course I downloaded that one. I spent the whole morning playing the game until I had to go get dressed and meet Oyster in Oslo. And then I forgot a bit about the game, mostly until today. I've been stuck on this particular song, but I managed to guess the answer today. And with a bit of Oysters' help, I managed to finish the bloody game. It's the best game I've ever played on my iPhone, and I'm so sad I've finished it. OH MY GOD, I'm listening to Angel by Shaggy right now. Holy shit, it's been so long. Sometimes I don't understand where I've heard all these songs, but it comes in handy when I play games like "Icon Pop Song". Sometimes the melodies get stuck in my mind though, and I go through a day with the melody on my mind. I'm just listening to Beautiful Girls by Sean Kingston now, and in the first 15 seconds there's a beat in the background that reminded me of another song. This happens to me all the time, but I don't always remember which song it reminds me of. This time I guessed it though. It's the same beat as Stand By Me. Oh my god, I am brilliant at this. I don't care if I'm weird, I have a special talent of memorizing useless melodies in my mind. It's all I need. Alright, I'm going to go and squeal over new pictures of One Direction and try not to bang my head in the wall. Oh this is gold; yesterday Oysters' friend asked me if I had a boyfriend or not. I answered "forever single" and all that. Oyster simply said: "She's a One Direction fan, loves Niall". As if that answers everything (and well, it does). 

I'm sorry, but who gave you the right? I'm so done

I just really hate One Direction. They are the worst people on the earth.